Friday, 14 September 2012

Odanglesex Revisited: A Thousand Miles (2)

FROM: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager

Kenneth wanted to be assured that your claim for 49 miles for the round trip from County Hall to and from Little Pilesbury is correct. The AA route planner says 45 miles.

FROM: Hamish Carpenter
TO: Kelly Pattrick

Kelly: Bodger's Lane was blocked by a fallen tree. The best alternative route through the Dirksedges took an extra four miles.


FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
More reposted Odanglesex fun: Following concern about the levels of mileage claims, all claims now have to go through the Director. In Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision, of course, that's Kenneth Spotlessnob.

TO: Bunny Hare, Financial Processes Consultant (claims)

I submitted my mileage claim for the second quarter of the year nearly four months ago and it hasn't appeared even in the pay statement that's just arrived. Sorry to push, but what's happening?


FROM: Bunny Hare
TO: Reema Narlikar


Sorry, I haven't heard back from Kelly Pattrick as to where Kenneth has got with it. I'll chase again.

FROM: Bunny Hare
TO: Reema Narlikar

Ree: your claim hasn't been approved by Kenneth yet. Kelly tells me he has quite a backlog.


FROM: Reema Narlikar
TO: Hamish Carpenter

Hamish: please see attached emails. Comment reads: ****@@@&%$***!!!!

FROM: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision


Just to assure you that following the informal word you had with me about the large amount of time Directors are having to devote to checking mileage claims, I'm putting to CLB that claims under 500 miles be self-assessed and thereafter by line managers only.


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