Headlines

This will be a familiar experience to those who still buy a newspaper (you know, one of those flat, rustly hard-copy things). You get it in your hands and curiosity drives you to check out the headlines or the front-page picture.

If you have a walk with the thing, as I do now, speculation is given more time to flourish while you have limited opportunities to read if you don't want to have an intimate encounter with a lamp-post.

This is not on the level of the tabloid which once headlined STRIP CLUBS SHOCK: MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS (what roles would they be acting?, but I did speculate on the "Observer"'s "BLUNKETT IN SECRET MURDOCH PAYOUT OVER NEWS OF THE WORLD PHONE HACKING CLAIMS". Had David Blunkett when Home Secretary ordered Rupert Murdoch's phone to be hacked? Surely not - the Murdoch press was a New Labout friend then.

As for "ANGRY CLEGG TURNS FIRE ON CAMERON OVER EUROPE VETO", I was merely speculating how this would play in the Far East: "ANGLY CREGG TURNS FIRE ON CAMELON OVER EULOPE VETO". A camelon, of course, is a temperamental beast of burden used by King Arthur and his knights. Hmm, his first years at Eton may have been very much like that.