Friday, 23 March 2012

The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Partnership (2)

FROM: Tamara Gold, Chair, COCVS; Chair, Odanglesex Safer Cycling Partnership

TO: All OSCP

Colleagues:

Just to update you that following the adoption of the Action Plan and everyone going away with actions they're responsible for, we've already made the following progress:

* Police have agreed to monitor the Dark Hill Gibbet and Unwelcome Sailor roundabouts on a regular basis, using cameras to record dangerous and aggressive driving.

* Hamish has gained the approval of his Children's colleagues for a questionnaire to go to all Head teachers asking about cycle facilities and cycling campaigns.

* Seven local businesses have agreed to sponsor cycle safety leaflets and short spots on Radio Odangle.

* The German Attraction, who are the third largest fashion retailer in Odanglesex, have started a cycle-to-work scheme for their employees and their Chief Exec has already joined it.

* Hottchester Borough are eliminating the break in the cycle track on Devonish Mary Avenue around the Lion and Garter to make the track continuous.

* Cllr Bill Waynflete has agreed to give us some publicity outside County Hall next week and has got his old bike out of the garden shed.

* "CYCLISTS CROSSING" signs are already up at that site near Weatherden Lows Farm on the A123!

No news yet on the replacement of the cycle sheds at County Hall demolished last year for the Festival of Odanglesex celebrations, but we live in hope.


FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager

TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision

cc: Dale Brashcon, Transformational Excellence Champion


Kenneth:

I feel I should share some concerns about the direction of the Odanglesex Safer Cycling Partnership. The Partnership has approved an action plan without going through the Odanglesex Action Planning Tool Framework and it does not reference either the relevant Odanglesex Value (Moving where we want when we want) or Strategic Plan Commitments 3, 13 and 17 (promoting local business especially bus transport and road haulage; liberating Odanglesex from unnecessary restrictions on parking; ensuring a transformational experience for all through the Olympics). These were of course incorporated entirely into the Strategic Vision Plan of the Odanglesex Community Partnership.

I suggest we should call a halt until the Partnership can be dovetailed more productively into the Community Partnership.

FROM: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob

TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob

Kenneth:

I don't know if you've seen the West Odanglesex Bugle today. The article headed COUNCILLOR COMES UNSTUCK is what I have in mind: "Odanglesex County Council leader Cllr Bill Waynflete came a copper yesterday (I think they mean 'cropper'). While attempting to promote the County Council's latest loony hippy scheme aimed at bringing on another ice age, leader Bill Waynflete fell off his bike. He had stopped to kiss a baby when his bike overbalanced. Mother of five Kaylee Lee said: 'My poor little Ricky is traumatised and I'm considering sueing.' Cllr Waynfete was not available for comment last night."

FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Champion, Odanglesex County Council

TO: All Odanglesex Safer Cycling Partnership

Colleagues: in order to connect the OSCP more fruitfully to the Odanglesex Community Partnership and to achieve input from OCC's Strategic Review, the next meeting of OSCP has been cancelled. Another will be announced in due course.

FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager

TO: Tamara Gold

Sorry, Tamara, this came as a shock to me too. I did assume Neil had spoken to you! Will from the Police has already been asking what's going on and I don't think they're pleased either. I'll speak to Kenneth and see what we can do.

from ED'S JOB, the blog of OCC Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler

Hello again! I know when you all get up in the morning you're raring to get to work and do something really exciting, so that time between the alarm clock going off and sitting down at your desk (if you have a desk) can go by in a bit of a blur - but I want you to think about it. How long does your journey to work take? Does your choice of mode of travel cut down any trees? Do you smile at people on the way?

I asked myself all those questions after Cllr Waynflete's magnificent efforts for cycling - and what was the result? I got the old bike out. It took me a while to work out what was wrong with it (my son pointed out a wheel was missing) but as soon as we'd fixed that I was off! I got on again and cycled happily down the pavement waving at everybody I met and shouting greeting - and they shouted back! Isn't that marvellous? So I want you all to seriously consider getting on a bike this week and going somewhere - preferably County Hall.

FROM: Dale Brashcon

TO: Neil Balderson

Good news! The Odanglesex Community Partnership Standing Working Group on Traffic Congestion has agreed to add promotion of responsible cycling to its ToR as new point nineteen.

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