So back to reposting old Odanglesex adventures with a few improvements - here the long-running saga of rationaising stationery processes.
ED'S JOB - the blog of Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler
Hello again! Isn't it marvellous to see all the flowers coming out? It's Spring!!!
When we think of Spring, of course all sorts of things come to mind - lambs, flowers, birds, greenery, summer clothes, finalising accounts and spring cleaning.
Sometimes we collect loads of stuff we don't really need. For example, a recent check of OCC internet activity showed that some employees were registered with seven or more jobsearch sites! When my old grandma, bless her, died, we found her cupboard stacked with 1,823 empty yoghurt pots, and she didn't even eat yoghurt.
My teenage daughter doesn't really "get" spring cleaning, tidying or throwing unimportant things away. So her room is a mountain of stuff and before long if we don't step in she'll be trapped in there, let alone unable to find things she needs in a hurry, though I've no idea what those could be. What's more, she collects stuff that IS useful and forgets and buys more of them and then can't find them.
It's the same with us at work. You've probably seen that we've placed a stop on most stationery orders until we reduce our overstocking without getting into understocking. We need stocking that just fits. Everything should be accessible. So get out there and make use of all that stationery that's mouldering in your offices!
Now I'm just going to write a note to myself on that notepad I found at the bottom of one of my drawers...
FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
I really would like to report that I've been able to make progress with the business case for the winding up of the Bank of Odanglesex Lord Pond Commemorative Fund, but I'm being distracted by complaints from junior officers about the stationery situation. It seems that some of them still make use of biros and staplers, and also that mouse mats and other computer accessories are categorised as stationery, along with printer cartridges. Hamish Carpenter has attempted to second-guess the A4Page analysis of our stationery reserves and he claims that at least three-quarters of them consist of items hardly now used if at all, such as bottles of tippex, indiarubbers and even tracing paper.
Would it be acceptable just to dump some of this stuff and then request a reassessment of our reserves?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Neil Balderson
Sorry, Neil, your ingenious suggestion is against our Business Procedures Manual and also our Green Odanglesex Charter.
FROM: Magog Jones, Director of Transportation and Settlement
TO: Germaine Custer, Director of Children Transformation
O.K. Gerry, it's a deal. 1,500 boxes of standard size staples for thirteen packets of A3 copier paper with one magnifying glass thrown in.
FROM: Kay Farmer, Head of Member Services
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
Ed:
Given the absence of notebooks and of recording devices, do you think members will notice if the Oversight of Garden Walls and Hedges meeting isn't minuted for a few months?
Showing posts with label transformation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transformation. Show all posts
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Stationery Strategy (5)
The paper trail goes on...
FROM: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
The implementation of the Agile Stationery Strategy has been impressive and with 93% of ordering officers now trained by Piers, Gaveston, Edwards, the small teething problems over ordering should now be a thing of the past. However, the next quantum leap is to change the nature of our relationship with stationery. On our transformational journey towards the paperless office, OCC should have far less need of hard copy stationery.
Early indications are that our expenditure on stationery is some 62% above what an agile modern organisation of our size should need. Moreover, as some units have been complaining that they are unable to execute orders, overcoming these technical blips will mean expenditure on stationery orders strays further from the optimum. An admittedly impressionistic impression is that stationery reserves are still more extensive than we need, indicating some orders are unnecessary and that valuable space is being employed in a suboptimal fashion. Consequently consultants commissioned from A4Page will be visiting offices during the next five weeks to scope the size of stationery reserves in all directorates.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Yesterday Mike and Reema came into the office and found a man with a visitor badge apparently stealing stationery. They blocked his exit and called security who arrived and summoned the police. The police have now informed us the man worked for A4Page and was employed to check stationery reserves. I subsequently had a rather unpleasant call from Brett West saying I should have knowwn about this and we've undermined the positive and aspirational partnership relationship with A4Page.
I dodn't know we had a relationship with them or that a stationery check was in process. Is that correct?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All Transformational Excellencew and Strategic Vision
Colleagues:
I thought you should know about the spot checks described by Brett West in the attached memo. This is a milepost on our Agile Stationery Strategy journey.
FROM: Brett West
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
Following the checks carried out for us by A4Page, it has become clear that current stationery reserves in all Directorates and Enhanced Capability Units except Chief Executive's exceed levels set in the Agile Stationery Strategy by 29 - 104%. Ed has therefore agreed to place a stop on all stationery orders for the next six months except for Chief Executive's and Member Services.
to be continued and concluded...
FROM: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
The implementation of the Agile Stationery Strategy has been impressive and with 93% of ordering officers now trained by Piers, Gaveston, Edwards, the small teething problems over ordering should now be a thing of the past. However, the next quantum leap is to change the nature of our relationship with stationery. On our transformational journey towards the paperless office, OCC should have far less need of hard copy stationery.
Early indications are that our expenditure on stationery is some 62% above what an agile modern organisation of our size should need. Moreover, as some units have been complaining that they are unable to execute orders, overcoming these technical blips will mean expenditure on stationery orders strays further from the optimum. An admittedly impressionistic impression is that stationery reserves are still more extensive than we need, indicating some orders are unnecessary and that valuable space is being employed in a suboptimal fashion. Consequently consultants commissioned from A4Page will be visiting offices during the next five weeks to scope the size of stationery reserves in all directorates.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Yesterday Mike and Reema came into the office and found a man with a visitor badge apparently stealing stationery. They blocked his exit and called security who arrived and summoned the police. The police have now informed us the man worked for A4Page and was employed to check stationery reserves. I subsequently had a rather unpleasant call from Brett West saying I should have knowwn about this and we've undermined the positive and aspirational partnership relationship with A4Page.
I dodn't know we had a relationship with them or that a stationery check was in process. Is that correct?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All Transformational Excellencew and Strategic Vision
Colleagues:
I thought you should know about the spot checks described by Brett West in the attached memo. This is a milepost on our Agile Stationery Strategy journey.
FROM: Brett West
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
Following the checks carried out for us by A4Page, it has become clear that current stationery reserves in all Directorates and Enhanced Capability Units except Chief Executive's exceed levels set in the Agile Stationery Strategy by 29 - 104%. Ed has therefore agreed to place a stop on all stationery orders for the next six months except for Chief Executive's and Member Services.
to be continued and concluded...
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Stationery Strategy (4)
Onwards and upwards with Odanglesex's transformation of its stationery operation. As usual, this is a repost with one or two changes (one change, in fact).
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
Brett -
It was unfortunate that the last module of the Supersmart ordering training could not be delivered because the Supersmart order for the training from Piers, Gaveston, Edwards had not been completed. I'm afraid the failure was in our Directorate, so we'll hold our hands up. Verity Casement and Martin House can be booked as they achieved an above average satisfaction rating on the feedback forms, but unfortunately booking them on a once-off basis will be more expensive. Please cascade.
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: Lisa Contractor, PA to Conor O'Connor
Lisa:
I messed up that Supersmart order. Could you be at my shoulder when I do it next?
SENT FROM MY BLACKBERRY
FROM: Naomi McNeish, Children's Team Co-ordinator (Mid-West)
TO: Maori Sheepshed, Assistant Director of Children's Services (Children)
Maori:
We're out of postits. We're out of biros except for green ones. We're out of highlighters. We're out of A4 for the printer and photocopier and as you appreciate, some documentation is still not accepted unless in hard copy form. Supersmart insists I don't exist and I'm beginning to believe it. As I'm the budget holder no-one else can order this stuff and we're now at a point that Mid-West cannot function properly.
Can you help?
FROM: Maori Sheepshed
TO: All Children's Team Co-ordinators
Please note that from 28th April for an experimental four months, Mid-West and Far West's infrastructure services will operate as a single unit. This should deliver efficiency gains. There are at present no staffing implications.
FROM: Magog Jones, Director of Transportation and Settlement
TO: Simeon Lascelles, Director of Spatial Exploration and Direction Management
Simeon:
In the whole of T&S, I am reliably told, there is not a single staple other than those already inserted in sheets of paper. Some officers are even resorting to extracting the used staples and trying to reuse them. We have, however, a surfeit of mouse-mats (the computer sort, I assume) following the latest round of redundancies.
One of my spies was recently in your core team's office and observed copious supplies of packets of staples. I understand you're taking on five new staff. Could we exchange some of your staples for our mouse-mats?
FROM: SIMEON LASCELLES
TO: MAGOG JONES
Magog:
In principle, yes. However, we have a problem in that the staples ordered do not fit any staplers in our office. Do you have any X33U2 staplers?
This one will run and run...
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
Brett -
It was unfortunate that the last module of the Supersmart ordering training could not be delivered because the Supersmart order for the training from Piers, Gaveston, Edwards had not been completed. I'm afraid the failure was in our Directorate, so we'll hold our hands up. Verity Casement and Martin House can be booked as they achieved an above average satisfaction rating on the feedback forms, but unfortunately booking them on a once-off basis will be more expensive. Please cascade.
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: Lisa Contractor, PA to Conor O'Connor
Lisa:
I messed up that Supersmart order. Could you be at my shoulder when I do it next?
SENT FROM MY BLACKBERRY
FROM: Naomi McNeish, Children's Team Co-ordinator (Mid-West)
TO: Maori Sheepshed, Assistant Director of Children's Services (Children)
Maori:
We're out of postits. We're out of biros except for green ones. We're out of highlighters. We're out of A4 for the printer and photocopier and as you appreciate, some documentation is still not accepted unless in hard copy form. Supersmart insists I don't exist and I'm beginning to believe it. As I'm the budget holder no-one else can order this stuff and we're now at a point that Mid-West cannot function properly.
Can you help?
FROM: Maori Sheepshed
TO: All Children's Team Co-ordinators
Please note that from 28th April for an experimental four months, Mid-West and Far West's infrastructure services will operate as a single unit. This should deliver efficiency gains. There are at present no staffing implications.
FROM: Magog Jones, Director of Transportation and Settlement
TO: Simeon Lascelles, Director of Spatial Exploration and Direction Management
Simeon:
In the whole of T&S, I am reliably told, there is not a single staple other than those already inserted in sheets of paper. Some officers are even resorting to extracting the used staples and trying to reuse them. We have, however, a surfeit of mouse-mats (the computer sort, I assume) following the latest round of redundancies.
One of my spies was recently in your core team's office and observed copious supplies of packets of staples. I understand you're taking on five new staff. Could we exchange some of your staples for our mouse-mats?
FROM: SIMEON LASCELLES
TO: MAGOG JONES
Magog:
In principle, yes. However, we have a problem in that the staples ordered do not fit any staplers in our office. Do you have any X33U2 staplers?
This one will run and run...
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Stationery Strategy (3)
Odanglesex continues to fast-track its stationery operations into the 21st century with some slight hitches, and I repeat the old posts with a few changes.
FROM: Rob Methuen, Business Transformation Consultant
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
Brett:
You asked me to report on progress towards the total enablement target for Supersmart engagement, and in particular its contribution to the Agile Stationery Strategy.
There's good news and bad news.
The good news is that one module of the enablement target has been hit. Since there are no admin officers left except those directly attached to Directors, 94.4% of Supersmart orders are now committed by the responsible officers, exceeding the target of 90% comfortably.
The bad news is that there have been a number of teething problems with officers not yet fully proficient in Supersmart. The "urban myth" you referred to, that a Head of Service had ordered 7,000 sandwiches instead of 7,000 hours of consultancy time, is sadly correct. It should, however, be noted that the sandwiches were considerably cheaper than the consultants. There have also been a number of complaints from officers who had not appreciated the need for security reasons to change their passwords every four days and are consequently being locked out and deleted. Senior officers are complaining that they are taking far longer to execute an order than the admin officers did, and Magog Jones has calculated that as he's paid five times more than the admin officer was and he's taking approximately three times as long to execute the order, the new system is fifteen times more expensive than the old.
I calculate that it cost the council £529:16.8 for Magog to make that calculation and have drawn his attention to this.
The above has led to a further distortion. As a minority of officers are in fact proficient in Supersmart, some units are indulging in financial sleight of hand so a competent officer can make orders for others, or are even giving that officer their passwords so he or she can impersonate them on the system.
One further issue was brought to my attention. I mention it here though it's not properly within my remit. Three officers who required small items were disappointed that the approved suppliers' prices on Supersmart exceeded the prices in WH Smith by up to 34%, and argued for discretion to buy.
FROM: Brett West
TO: Rob Methuen
cc: Goneril Hayes
Thanks, Rob. Teething problems are to be expected. Our procurement arrangements through Supersmart are devised to maximise value for money, so no departures can be permitted. It is disappointing that some officers do not appreciate the need for security. The perfomance on Supersmart of some senior officers is also disappointing. I will be speaking to Conor and Ed about whether this can be made a criterion within Advanced Performance Evaluation and also about addressing these shortcomings through training.
Where did the sandwiches go?
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
Colleagues:
In order to make the next step change towards implementation of our Agile Stationery Strategy and the concomitent Agile Services Strategy, Agile Premises Strategy and Agile Consultants Strategy, all officers on Supersmart are required to attend two-day Supersmart ordering training commencing 1 April. The training will start with the most senior officers below Director level and proceed downwards over the life of the programme.
The nomination form is attached. I stress that no exceptions will be allowed.
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
FROM MY BLACKBERRY
Scotty:
What's this rumour that Brett West was seen selling sandwiches???
FROM: Rob Methuen, Business Transformation Consultant
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
Brett:
You asked me to report on progress towards the total enablement target for Supersmart engagement, and in particular its contribution to the Agile Stationery Strategy.
There's good news and bad news.
The good news is that one module of the enablement target has been hit. Since there are no admin officers left except those directly attached to Directors, 94.4% of Supersmart orders are now committed by the responsible officers, exceeding the target of 90% comfortably.
The bad news is that there have been a number of teething problems with officers not yet fully proficient in Supersmart. The "urban myth" you referred to, that a Head of Service had ordered 7,000 sandwiches instead of 7,000 hours of consultancy time, is sadly correct. It should, however, be noted that the sandwiches were considerably cheaper than the consultants. There have also been a number of complaints from officers who had not appreciated the need for security reasons to change their passwords every four days and are consequently being locked out and deleted. Senior officers are complaining that they are taking far longer to execute an order than the admin officers did, and Magog Jones has calculated that as he's paid five times more than the admin officer was and he's taking approximately three times as long to execute the order, the new system is fifteen times more expensive than the old.
I calculate that it cost the council £529:16.8 for Magog to make that calculation and have drawn his attention to this.
The above has led to a further distortion. As a minority of officers are in fact proficient in Supersmart, some units are indulging in financial sleight of hand so a competent officer can make orders for others, or are even giving that officer their passwords so he or she can impersonate them on the system.
One further issue was brought to my attention. I mention it here though it's not properly within my remit. Three officers who required small items were disappointed that the approved suppliers' prices on Supersmart exceeded the prices in WH Smith by up to 34%, and argued for discretion to buy.
FROM: Brett West
TO: Rob Methuen
cc: Goneril Hayes
Thanks, Rob. Teething problems are to be expected. Our procurement arrangements through Supersmart are devised to maximise value for money, so no departures can be permitted. It is disappointing that some officers do not appreciate the need for security. The perfomance on Supersmart of some senior officers is also disappointing. I will be speaking to Conor and Ed about whether this can be made a criterion within Advanced Performance Evaluation and also about addressing these shortcomings through training.
Where did the sandwiches go?
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
Colleagues:
In order to make the next step change towards implementation of our Agile Stationery Strategy and the concomitent Agile Services Strategy, Agile Premises Strategy and Agile Consultants Strategy, all officers on Supersmart are required to attend two-day Supersmart ordering training commencing 1 April. The training will start with the most senior officers below Director level and proceed downwards over the life of the programme.
The nomination form is attached. I stress that no exceptions will be allowed.
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
FROM MY BLACKBERRY
Scotty:
What's this rumour that Brett West was seen selling sandwiches???
Monday, 3 December 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Stationery Strategy (2)
On with Odanglesex's state-of-the-art stationery ordering, another reposted and tweaked Odanglesex adventure, the second in the series on moving stationery into the 21st century through innovative direction management.
FROM:Dale Brashcon, Transformational Excellence Champion
TO: Douglas Black, Performance Networking Consultant
cc: Albert Doxe, Transit Facility Manager
No, Douglas, I didn't order 200 barrels of cleaning fluid through Supersmart. I ordered 200 black biros.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale:
The Supersmart code is definitely for barrels of cleaning fluid and the supplier will enforce payment. Albert is asking where we should put them as he understands he is about to have to find space for a large number of cocks removed from offices under our time management initiative.
FROM: Douglas Black
Douglas Black wishes to recall this message.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Sorry, clocks.
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: Douglas Black
Douglas:
Henry Donaldson in Hamish's team tells me he knows a man. I'm not sure if his wife is aware of this (JOKE!!!). Anyway, I'll sign off the payment as I have no alternative and this guy Daley Arthur will collect them.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale:
Unless Daley Arthur is a registered beneficiary or partnership collaborator under IAMS(QV16), Albert won't release the barrels to him. It's in standing orders.
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
Brett -
Could you get your guys to fast-track the attached registration form for Daley Arthur Enterprises? This is an essential strategic milepost in the time management initiative.
Many thanks
Dale
FROM:Dale Brashcon, Transformational Excellence Champion
TO: Douglas Black, Performance Networking Consultant
cc: Albert Doxe, Transit Facility Manager
No, Douglas, I didn't order 200 barrels of cleaning fluid through Supersmart. I ordered 200 black biros.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale:
The Supersmart code is definitely for barrels of cleaning fluid and the supplier will enforce payment. Albert is asking where we should put them as he understands he is about to have to find space for a large number of cocks removed from offices under our time management initiative.
FROM: Douglas Black
Douglas Black wishes to recall this message.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Sorry, clocks.
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: Douglas Black
Douglas:
Henry Donaldson in Hamish's team tells me he knows a man. I'm not sure if his wife is aware of this (JOKE!!!). Anyway, I'll sign off the payment as I have no alternative and this guy Daley Arthur will collect them.
FROM: Douglas Black
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale:
Unless Daley Arthur is a registered beneficiary or partnership collaborator under IAMS(QV16), Albert won't release the barrels to him. It's in standing orders.
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
Brett -
Could you get your guys to fast-track the attached registration form for Daley Arthur Enterprises? This is an essential strategic milepost in the time management initiative.
Many thanks
Dale
Friday, 30 November 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Stationery Strategy (1)
More reposted Odanglesex adventures with a few tweaks
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: All Directors
Colleagues:
In order to implement the next step change in our transformational journey to a lean, multicapablity business, the internal review of administrative support has concluded that OCC can save at least 250K by abolishing all admin posts except for those attached to Directors. As officers become more agile and adept at multi-tasking, the traditional admin support role is increasingly redundant, which is what we're making them.
The step change footfall date is 31.3.2012.
FROM: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
In line with Conor's e-mail about the transformation of administrative officers, and with the Agile Stationary Strategy, Directors and Heads of Unit should be aware that from 23.3.2012 it will be incumbent on all directorates and units to manage procurement of all items without support of dedicated admin officers. Since nearly 20% of officers are already registered as Procurers with Supersmart, transiting should not be onerous. However, I draw your attention, for trickle-down, to the Supersmart Procurer Registration procedure and guidance briefing, both available under Business Services on the Infranet.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Brett West
Brett:
Stationery, I think?
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: All Transformational Excellence
Wow! New challenges come thick and fast! Isn't it FUN!
The latest is making ourselves all experts in Supersmart so we can all order pens and conference rooms and sandwiches and consultancy work - if we need them, of course!
Lucy Leaman has come up with an especially exciting idea which I'm sure will have you all on the edge of your seats (if you still have seats - JOKE!) and it's this: we have a competition in Transformational Excellence to see who can become proficient at all levels of Supersmart first. I've OKd with Brett and Goneril that they'll join with Neil as judges and the prize will be an OCC-enabled Blackberry. 100 lines for anyone who says anything about fruit.
FROM: Silesia Jones, Equality Consultant
TO: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
Ree:
Rumour has it you're brilliant at this Supersmart thing. I can't get the hang of it and although Mavis is still around, she's spending most of her time making paper aeroplanes because apparently she's got a job in airport security at West Anglia Airport. Could you possibly drop round?
Grovelling thanks
Sile
To be ongoing...
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: All Directors
Colleagues:
In order to implement the next step change in our transformational journey to a lean, multicapablity business, the internal review of administrative support has concluded that OCC can save at least 250K by abolishing all admin posts except for those attached to Directors. As officers become more agile and adept at multi-tasking, the traditional admin support role is increasingly redundant, which is what we're making them.
The step change footfall date is 31.3.2012.
FROM: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
In line with Conor's e-mail about the transformation of administrative officers, and with the Agile Stationary Strategy, Directors and Heads of Unit should be aware that from 23.3.2012 it will be incumbent on all directorates and units to manage procurement of all items without support of dedicated admin officers. Since nearly 20% of officers are already registered as Procurers with Supersmart, transiting should not be onerous. However, I draw your attention, for trickle-down, to the Supersmart Procurer Registration procedure and guidance briefing, both available under Business Services on the Infranet.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Brett West
Brett:
Stationery, I think?
FROM: Dale Brashcon
TO: All Transformational Excellence
Wow! New challenges come thick and fast! Isn't it FUN!
The latest is making ourselves all experts in Supersmart so we can all order pens and conference rooms and sandwiches and consultancy work - if we need them, of course!
Lucy Leaman has come up with an especially exciting idea which I'm sure will have you all on the edge of your seats (if you still have seats - JOKE!) and it's this: we have a competition in Transformational Excellence to see who can become proficient at all levels of Supersmart first. I've OKd with Brett and Goneril that they'll join with Neil as judges and the prize will be an OCC-enabled Blackberry. 100 lines for anyone who says anything about fruit.
FROM: Silesia Jones, Equality Consultant
TO: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
Ree:
Rumour has it you're brilliant at this Supersmart thing. I can't get the hang of it and although Mavis is still around, she's spending most of her time making paper aeroplanes because apparently she's got a job in airport security at West Anglia Airport. Could you possibly drop round?
Grovelling thanks
Sile
To be ongoing...
Monday, 26 November 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Workers (3)
The last episode of how Oganglesex's employees became more agile, reposted and slightly changed.
FROM: Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
cc: Eustace Ojukwu, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
Kenneth: I attach the full report on TESV's piloting of an aspirational head:seat ratio within OCC's Agile Working Strategy. The summary report is as follows (please let me know if you'd like to raise any points before it goes to Ed and Cllr Wayneflete).
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.56. This demonstrates that the target is achievable across the Council. The achievement deserves congratulation.
However, the anticipated efficiency economies have not been attained: in fact, only 9.6% of the anticipated saving has been achieved to date. While power costs are down thanks to officers working from home and relying on home power supplies, none of the extra space vacated has generated income. To put it colloquially, other organisations don't want to be housed in County Hall. One VCS chief executive said his customers finding the organisation at County Hall would be "a lingering death" and then corrected himself to "not necessarily lingering". Unfortunately this ungenerous response is not untypical and all possible out-stations had already been closed, generating extra mileage expenses as officers had to travel to distant locations from County Hall.
Other difficulties include feedback by Callboysandgirls Call Centre that there has been a 72% increase in phones not being answered and low use of home computers and mobile devices because of Council security requirements. In particular, conversion of devices is taking an average five weeks, two days, seven hours, sixteen minutes and employees are showing marked reluctance to delete their existing home internet security in favour of the MaxiPlus Platinum Plated Worldwide Security package.
Feedback from employees is mixed. Many enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity to work from home more, but in some cases have been frustrated by internet security issues. A significant minority find the lack of a personal space at work disorienting and there are also a small number of reported problems in individuals achieving a positive working environment at home. One of these involved a keyboard being immobilised by baby sick. There have also been some problems, which are being investigated, of disability access issues being unresolved.
It is too early to tell whether the changeover has led to increased efficiency in TESV.
Hilary Hannah
Eustace Ojukwu.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO; Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil: I'm not happy about this report. It needs some polishing before it goes to Ed and Bill Waynflete. Could you drop in asap for a brief discussion and then liaise with Hilary and Eustace?
FROM: Eustace Ojukwu
TO: Neil Balderson
Hi! Here's the revised version.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Here's the report from the HR consultants on our Agile Workers step change. The summary is as follows:
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.53. All employees are to be congratulated.
Savings of £539,000 pa can be projected if the savings pathway of the first months is projected till the year end. Energy costs are down and space within County Hall has been freed up. All working from home and in transit has been brought in line with Council security requirements and there have been no breeches.
A clear majority of TESV employees have welcomed the opportunity to become Agile and work more from home. A problem in a small number of cases of access difficulties to flexible working work stations has been addressed.
The transformation is on course to deliver greater efficiency and customer responsiveness.
Eustace Ojukwu
Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultants
FROM: Cllr Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO; Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Thanks for the report on Agile Working. I'd like to raise two points.
First, unless our employees are trouserless, which does from personal observation apply to a minority but not to all, it should be "breaches", not "breeches".
Second, how does this Agile Workers thing tally with us doubling the charge to use the gym?
Bill
FROM: Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
cc: Eustace Ojukwu, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
Kenneth: I attach the full report on TESV's piloting of an aspirational head:seat ratio within OCC's Agile Working Strategy. The summary report is as follows (please let me know if you'd like to raise any points before it goes to Ed and Cllr Wayneflete).
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.56. This demonstrates that the target is achievable across the Council. The achievement deserves congratulation.
However, the anticipated efficiency economies have not been attained: in fact, only 9.6% of the anticipated saving has been achieved to date. While power costs are down thanks to officers working from home and relying on home power supplies, none of the extra space vacated has generated income. To put it colloquially, other organisations don't want to be housed in County Hall. One VCS chief executive said his customers finding the organisation at County Hall would be "a lingering death" and then corrected himself to "not necessarily lingering". Unfortunately this ungenerous response is not untypical and all possible out-stations had already been closed, generating extra mileage expenses as officers had to travel to distant locations from County Hall.
Other difficulties include feedback by Callboysandgirls Call Centre that there has been a 72% increase in phones not being answered and low use of home computers and mobile devices because of Council security requirements. In particular, conversion of devices is taking an average five weeks, two days, seven hours, sixteen minutes and employees are showing marked reluctance to delete their existing home internet security in favour of the MaxiPlus Platinum Plated Worldwide Security package.
Feedback from employees is mixed. Many enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity to work from home more, but in some cases have been frustrated by internet security issues. A significant minority find the lack of a personal space at work disorienting and there are also a small number of reported problems in individuals achieving a positive working environment at home. One of these involved a keyboard being immobilised by baby sick. There have also been some problems, which are being investigated, of disability access issues being unresolved.
It is too early to tell whether the changeover has led to increased efficiency in TESV.
Hilary Hannah
Eustace Ojukwu.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO; Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil: I'm not happy about this report. It needs some polishing before it goes to Ed and Bill Waynflete. Could you drop in asap for a brief discussion and then liaise with Hilary and Eustace?
FROM: Eustace Ojukwu
TO: Neil Balderson
Hi! Here's the revised version.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Here's the report from the HR consultants on our Agile Workers step change. The summary is as follows:
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.53. All employees are to be congratulated.
Savings of £539,000 pa can be projected if the savings pathway of the first months is projected till the year end. Energy costs are down and space within County Hall has been freed up. All working from home and in transit has been brought in line with Council security requirements and there have been no breeches.
A clear majority of TESV employees have welcomed the opportunity to become Agile and work more from home. A problem in a small number of cases of access difficulties to flexible working work stations has been addressed.
The transformation is on course to deliver greater efficiency and customer responsiveness.
Eustace Ojukwu
Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultants
FROM: Cllr Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO; Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Thanks for the report on Agile Working. I'd like to raise two points.
First, unless our employees are trouserless, which does from personal observation apply to a minority but not to all, it should be "breaches", not "breeches".
Second, how does this Agile Workers thing tally with us doubling the charge to use the gym?
Bill
Monday, 12 November 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: The Agile Workers (1)
Back to reposting slightly improved - or worsened - Odanglesex County Council adventures - this one on Agile Working!
FROM: Simeon Lascelles, Director of Spatial Exploration and Direction Management
TO: All Directors
cc: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Colleagues:
AGILE WORKING
A recent study by Gomez Pertwee Associates shows that the seat/head ratio in local government can be reduced to 1:2.93 recurring without impacting in a negative direction of travel on service delivery standard attainment levels. We currently stand at 1:1.41. Ed has asked me to task you all with producing business plans by the month end to reduce your head/seat ratios to at least 1:2.43 recurring. Cllr Wayneflete is showing a personal interest in this issue.
I attach a presentation by Gert Offenbach of Gomez Pertwee to a recent seminar in Bruges. Conor (on Human Resources Development's contribution) and I will be happy to field any queries as appropriate.
Simeon
FROM: Magog Jones, Director of Transportation and Settlement
TO: Simeon Lascelles
Simeon, could we have that presentation in English, please? My Serbo-Croat is a bit rusty.
Most of us have one head, one seat.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
These are interesting times - exciting times, indeed, and I know you all share my excitement at the opportunity to beacon our enthusiasm for agile working in TESV so that our transformational pilot can be showcased across OCC and the public services commissioning community worldwide as a directional excellence exemplar.
We all know that agile workers are the future. We need to bring the future forward to the present. This is not just about Flexible Working, important though that is. Instead of the static employee tied to a one to one relationship with an inflexible workspace, we can embrace innovatory work delivery modes such as working from home, maximising use of agile equipment such as the Blackberry and Smartphone and flexible workspace management within office usage parameters.
Yesterday at the Heads of Units meeting we looked at some of the ways we can leap ahead on agile working and I am confident that this Directorate is not only going to meet the corporate target of 1:2.43 recurring with all mileposts, but exceed it. We've therefore agreed for TESV a target of 1:2.51 and I'm looking forward to meeting with Simeon and his team on Friday to materialise specifics.
FROM: Magog Jones
TO: Alex Knollys, Head of Transportational Direction Management
Alex:
As your lot are on the road most of the time, and when they're not, don't need to sit at desks much, and I've checked with Spatial Exploration that for the purposes of the dreaded ratio, vehicle seats don't count, you've no need to worry because you've hit the target already.
(Now how is the authority's seat reduction strategy going to work out in practice? All will in due course be revealed...)
FROM: Simeon Lascelles, Director of Spatial Exploration and Direction Management
TO: All Directors
cc: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Colleagues:
AGILE WORKING
A recent study by Gomez Pertwee Associates shows that the seat/head ratio in local government can be reduced to 1:2.93 recurring without impacting in a negative direction of travel on service delivery standard attainment levels. We currently stand at 1:1.41. Ed has asked me to task you all with producing business plans by the month end to reduce your head/seat ratios to at least 1:2.43 recurring. Cllr Wayneflete is showing a personal interest in this issue.
I attach a presentation by Gert Offenbach of Gomez Pertwee to a recent seminar in Bruges. Conor (on Human Resources Development's contribution) and I will be happy to field any queries as appropriate.
Simeon
FROM: Magog Jones, Director of Transportation and Settlement
TO: Simeon Lascelles
Simeon, could we have that presentation in English, please? My Serbo-Croat is a bit rusty.
Most of us have one head, one seat.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
These are interesting times - exciting times, indeed, and I know you all share my excitement at the opportunity to beacon our enthusiasm for agile working in TESV so that our transformational pilot can be showcased across OCC and the public services commissioning community worldwide as a directional excellence exemplar.
We all know that agile workers are the future. We need to bring the future forward to the present. This is not just about Flexible Working, important though that is. Instead of the static employee tied to a one to one relationship with an inflexible workspace, we can embrace innovatory work delivery modes such as working from home, maximising use of agile equipment such as the Blackberry and Smartphone and flexible workspace management within office usage parameters.
Yesterday at the Heads of Units meeting we looked at some of the ways we can leap ahead on agile working and I am confident that this Directorate is not only going to meet the corporate target of 1:2.43 recurring with all mileposts, but exceed it. We've therefore agreed for TESV a target of 1:2.51 and I'm looking forward to meeting with Simeon and his team on Friday to materialise specifics.
FROM: Magog Jones
TO: Alex Knollys, Head of Transportational Direction Management
Alex:
As your lot are on the road most of the time, and when they're not, don't need to sit at desks much, and I've checked with Spatial Exploration that for the purposes of the dreaded ratio, vehicle seats don't count, you've no need to worry because you've hit the target already.
(Now how is the authority's seat reduction strategy going to work out in practice? All will in due course be revealed...)
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: A Good Performance (2)
Continuing with the reported Odanglesex adventures.
The story so far: the Council has promulgated a profile for performance review with set percentages for each category, any departure from this profile to be approved at senior level. It has also created a "Best Person of the Year" award and ceremony: both of these are presented as responses to a staff survey finding that people want more recognition for good performance.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil:
I'm applying for the performance profile to be varied for my team. It really would hit me in the guts for any of my people to be judged "failing", as basically they're all up to the job and working hard. You'll be aware that the team has had a number of major successes this year and I fill in the case for a variation in the attached submission. I also attach the rating I believe would be appropriate if variation is approved.
FROM: Neil Balderson
TO: Hamish Carpenter, Sammi Parrot, Maurice Maina
Colleagues:
Thanks for submitting your requests for EDPE variations. As the robustness of the model depends on maintaining the highest standards, it has unfortunately not been possible for Kenneth, Conor and myself to approve any variations. Where you submitted assessments based on the hoped-for variation, these have all been downgraded to fit the profile. I know you'll be disappointed by this, but I know you and your team members will understand the reasons.
Best wishes
FROM: Dale Brashcon, Transformational Excellence Champion
TO: All Transformational Excellence
GOOD NEWS! You've probably seen the announcement on the Extranet or the latest Ed's Job, but if not, THE DETAILS OF THE BEST PERSON OF THE YEAR AWARD ARE OUT!!! Except, of course, the names of the winners! That we only find out on the night. I know just how excited everyone has been about this and it's obvious from the nominations received that this is really going with a swing. Thanks to all those who nominated colleagues, and special thanks to those who nominated me (ONLY JOKING!!)
If you've read the Extranet you'll know that we've been really lucky to get Ned Pratt OBE to compere and present the awards. Ned will be known to all of you as Odanglesex's premier comedian, the star of "Carry on up the Rear Passage, Gunga Din", "Pratting About" and many other excellent shows.
I hope to see you all on the night. If you're not there, I know where you live (ONLY JOKING!!)
Kenneth wants a really good turnout from TESV. Remember, there are cakes and soft drinks.
ED's JOB
The blog of Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler
HI!
There's really only one thing I can talk about this week - the wonderful night we all had at the Best Person of the Year celebration. I'm sure you'll all agree that Ned Pratt, who was so kind to agree to run the show, was outstanding and I have to admit I was in stitches at times, though I couldn't quite understand the joke about someone called Lord Pond.
The cakes and pop went like, well, hot cakes, and Minnie in my office had to nip out to Tesco's for replacements.
Well, if by any chance you were unable to attend, here are the results. Congratulations to everyone who was nominated and to those who nominated them.
BEST GUARDIAN ANGEL: Bartholomew Addison, Financial Resources
BEST INNOVATOR: Kerry-Anne Porritt, Older People and Recycling
MOST IMPROVED: Satish Chatterparjee, Transportation and Settlement
AND THE OVERALL WINNER, BEST PERSON OF THE YEAR: Henry Donaldson, Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision.
MANY CONGRATULATIONS, HENRY! Your book vouchers are in the post (sorry they weren't ready on the night).
Now just think, everybody - next year THIS COULD BE YOU!
FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Just a little blip, but it could be embarrassing, so better make sure UNISON don't hear about it. Did you realise that Henry Donaldson in Hamish's team is Best Person of the Year and has just been adjudged in EDPE to be failing?
Neil
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Hamish Carpenter
Hamish: We need to have a word about the debacle concerning Henry Donaldson. I hope tomorrow at 4 is suitable for you. Emma Carver from HR will be present. We will be reviewing criteria for EDPE assessment and appropriate implementation pathways.
Believe me, readers - this is only JUST in the realm of fantasy.
The story so far: the Council has promulgated a profile for performance review with set percentages for each category, any departure from this profile to be approved at senior level. It has also created a "Best Person of the Year" award and ceremony: both of these are presented as responses to a staff survey finding that people want more recognition for good performance.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil:
I'm applying for the performance profile to be varied for my team. It really would hit me in the guts for any of my people to be judged "failing", as basically they're all up to the job and working hard. You'll be aware that the team has had a number of major successes this year and I fill in the case for a variation in the attached submission. I also attach the rating I believe would be appropriate if variation is approved.
FROM: Neil Balderson
TO: Hamish Carpenter, Sammi Parrot, Maurice Maina
Colleagues:
Thanks for submitting your requests for EDPE variations. As the robustness of the model depends on maintaining the highest standards, it has unfortunately not been possible for Kenneth, Conor and myself to approve any variations. Where you submitted assessments based on the hoped-for variation, these have all been downgraded to fit the profile. I know you'll be disappointed by this, but I know you and your team members will understand the reasons.
Best wishes
FROM: Dale Brashcon, Transformational Excellence Champion
TO: All Transformational Excellence
GOOD NEWS! You've probably seen the announcement on the Extranet or the latest Ed's Job, but if not, THE DETAILS OF THE BEST PERSON OF THE YEAR AWARD ARE OUT!!! Except, of course, the names of the winners! That we only find out on the night. I know just how excited everyone has been about this and it's obvious from the nominations received that this is really going with a swing. Thanks to all those who nominated colleagues, and special thanks to those who nominated me (ONLY JOKING!!)
If you've read the Extranet you'll know that we've been really lucky to get Ned Pratt OBE to compere and present the awards. Ned will be known to all of you as Odanglesex's premier comedian, the star of "Carry on up the Rear Passage, Gunga Din", "Pratting About" and many other excellent shows.
I hope to see you all on the night. If you're not there, I know where you live (ONLY JOKING!!)
Kenneth wants a really good turnout from TESV. Remember, there are cakes and soft drinks.
ED's JOB
The blog of Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler
HI!
There's really only one thing I can talk about this week - the wonderful night we all had at the Best Person of the Year celebration. I'm sure you'll all agree that Ned Pratt, who was so kind to agree to run the show, was outstanding and I have to admit I was in stitches at times, though I couldn't quite understand the joke about someone called Lord Pond.
The cakes and pop went like, well, hot cakes, and Minnie in my office had to nip out to Tesco's for replacements.
Well, if by any chance you were unable to attend, here are the results. Congratulations to everyone who was nominated and to those who nominated them.
BEST GUARDIAN ANGEL: Bartholomew Addison, Financial Resources
BEST INNOVATOR: Kerry-Anne Porritt, Older People and Recycling
MOST IMPROVED: Satish Chatterparjee, Transportation and Settlement
AND THE OVERALL WINNER, BEST PERSON OF THE YEAR: Henry Donaldson, Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision.
MANY CONGRATULATIONS, HENRY! Your book vouchers are in the post (sorry they weren't ready on the night).
Now just think, everybody - next year THIS COULD BE YOU!
FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Just a little blip, but it could be embarrassing, so better make sure UNISON don't hear about it. Did you realise that Henry Donaldson in Hamish's team is Best Person of the Year and has just been adjudged in EDPE to be failing?
Neil
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Hamish Carpenter
Hamish: We need to have a word about the debacle concerning Henry Donaldson. I hope tomorrow at 4 is suitable for you. Emma Carver from HR will be present. We will be reviewing criteria for EDPE assessment and appropriate implementation pathways.
Believe me, readers - this is only JUST in the realm of fantasy.
Thursday, 27 September 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: A Good Performance (1)
More local bureaucratic fun re-posted here: now the council's approach to performance review and reward. Believe me, this is not far off the truth.
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: All Directors; Chief Executive
Colleagues:
The proposal for an Excellent Performance Delivery Environment (EPDE)I put before CRB has been approved. To summarise:
* All employees will be graded from A - E by their line managers as part of the annual My Performance process. Grades will be reviewed and approved or amended by Team Leaders.
* To prevent grade inflation, managers will adhere to the following performance profile as closely as possible: A: 15%; B: 25%; C: 25%; D: 20%; E: 15%.
* The thumbnail definition of the categories is as follows: A: outstanding, innovative achiever; B: high achiever within normal parameters; C: meets requirements of job; D: meets requirements of job with some areas for improvement; E: failing and in need of remedial action.
* Categories A and B will receive income augmentation in line with annexe 3A.
* There will be an appeals procedure: details will follow.
This will sharpen up our performance and ensure that we both encourage the high-fliers and weed out the underperformers.
ED's JOB
The blog of Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler
Hi! I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a great fan of Queen's Sticks Wielders women's hockey team. Last season was really depressing and we got relegated to Division 2. This season, though, we're going great guns and have won four out of six matches, one of the others being drawn.
What made the difference? A real determination to concentrate on performance and raise the team performance level! And it was a real team effort.
Although performance levels at Odanglesex County Council are pretty much through the roof, we can't afford to rest on our laurels. We only beat Scunthorpeshire by one point in the Local Goverment Chronicle poll last year, and they're making big efforts. We must achieve continuous improvement. That's why I could so easily relate to the finding in the Employee Survey which said that 71% of you thought we could do more to reward good performance.
We've taken that VERY seriously and done two things in response. One is to introduce a Good Performance system which will identify the best performers and reward them. Your directors will be speaking to you about that very soon. The other is to launch a BEST PEOPLE OF THE YEAR award scheme in which all of you will be able to nominate fellow-employees (you can't nominate yourself, sorry. You can't nominate me either - sorry again) for recognition of their outstanding service and they will receive awards at an annual ceremony hosted by a major Odanglesex public figure. Councillor Wayneflete and I will judge the nominations together with Conor O'Connor and we're really looking forward to it!
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Does this new performance reward system really mean I have to assess one of my people as failing?
FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: All Transformational Excellence managers
Kenneth's had a number of queries about EPDE. They come down to the same thing - the degree of flexibility in the recommended profile. In order to ensure a robust performance structure, departures from the profile must be minor and exceptional. Appeals will be dealt with by Kenneth. I hope that clarifies the position.
To be continued...
FROM: Conor O'Connor, Director of Human Resources Development
TO: All Directors; Chief Executive
Colleagues:
The proposal for an Excellent Performance Delivery Environment (EPDE)I put before CRB has been approved. To summarise:
* All employees will be graded from A - E by their line managers as part of the annual My Performance process. Grades will be reviewed and approved or amended by Team Leaders.
* To prevent grade inflation, managers will adhere to the following performance profile as closely as possible: A: 15%; B: 25%; C: 25%; D: 20%; E: 15%.
* The thumbnail definition of the categories is as follows: A: outstanding, innovative achiever; B: high achiever within normal parameters; C: meets requirements of job; D: meets requirements of job with some areas for improvement; E: failing and in need of remedial action.
* Categories A and B will receive income augmentation in line with annexe 3A.
* There will be an appeals procedure: details will follow.
This will sharpen up our performance and ensure that we both encourage the high-fliers and weed out the underperformers.
ED's JOB
The blog of Chief Executive Edelbertha Spengler
Hi! I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a great fan of Queen's Sticks Wielders women's hockey team. Last season was really depressing and we got relegated to Division 2. This season, though, we're going great guns and have won four out of six matches, one of the others being drawn.
What made the difference? A real determination to concentrate on performance and raise the team performance level! And it was a real team effort.
Although performance levels at Odanglesex County Council are pretty much through the roof, we can't afford to rest on our laurels. We only beat Scunthorpeshire by one point in the Local Goverment Chronicle poll last year, and they're making big efforts. We must achieve continuous improvement. That's why I could so easily relate to the finding in the Employee Survey which said that 71% of you thought we could do more to reward good performance.
We've taken that VERY seriously and done two things in response. One is to introduce a Good Performance system which will identify the best performers and reward them. Your directors will be speaking to you about that very soon. The other is to launch a BEST PEOPLE OF THE YEAR award scheme in which all of you will be able to nominate fellow-employees (you can't nominate yourself, sorry. You can't nominate me either - sorry again) for recognition of their outstanding service and they will receive awards at an annual ceremony hosted by a major Odanglesex public figure. Councillor Wayneflete and I will judge the nominations together with Conor O'Connor and we're really looking forward to it!
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Does this new performance reward system really mean I have to assess one of my people as failing?
FROM: Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
TO: All Transformational Excellence managers
Kenneth's had a number of queries about EPDE. They come down to the same thing - the degree of flexibility in the recommended profile. In order to ensure a robust performance structure, departures from the profile must be minor and exceptional. Appeals will be dealt with by Kenneth. I hope that clarifies the position.
To be continued...
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Odanglesex Revisited: Branding the Directorate (1)
Continuing the reposted Odanglesex adventures - this time on Branding the Directorate. Those outside the jargon of large commercial organisations - and large state organisations aping them - might think branding was what happened to steers, but do not fear. Health and Safety rules would prevent this being done to Kenneth Spotlessnob's Directorate and it is even possible the unions might learn of it and object.
From: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
To: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
I was delighted that so many colleagues from Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision took part in the recent competition to suggest values for the Council that could be summarised in seven words for our branding. It was really exciting to be on the panel with Ed and Councillor Wayneflete and see so many excellent ideas! Unfortunately the winning entry was not from TESV, but I'm sure you'll agree that the suggestion by Bill Sidebottom, Acting Assistant Director of Transportation and Settlement, was brilliant and captured the values of this vibrant and exciting organisation. So I'm sure you were thrillled when it came up on your screens when you turned on your computers: Passionate, Innovative, Strategic, Sensitive, Organised, Factually Founded!
Nothing could better express the Transformation Agenda.
Now our next exciting step change transformation journey is to choose a similar message for our directorate! Suggestions to Kelly Pattrick in my office please, by the end of the month. Let's do better than the other lots and get our essential message, direction and culture into just four words. If teams want to hold brainstorming sessions to come up with ideas, just contact Neil Balderson to gain approval for booking accomodation.
Looking forward to all the wonderful ideas!
Kenneth
FROM: DALE BRASHCON, TRANSFORMATIONAL EXCELLENCE CHAMPION
TO: ALL TESV
Hello campers! As you all know, Kenneth is out in North Korea putting the exciting final touches to the Lord Pond Leadership Values and Benefits Awards Scheme. When he comes back, of course, he'll be full of ideas from his learning experiences, but in the meantime, he's asked me to put a little extra fizz into our Directorate branding brainstorming. We've actually had only three suggestions for the four words and one of those had only two words in it. I'm absolutely sure everyone at this exciting, transformational time is bubbling over with ideas about our excellence journey, so JUST STICK THEM IN AN E-MAIL AND SEND THEM TO KELLY OR ME!! Come on, don't be shy!!
Dale
TO BE CONTINUED
From: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
To: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
I was delighted that so many colleagues from Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision took part in the recent competition to suggest values for the Council that could be summarised in seven words for our branding. It was really exciting to be on the panel with Ed and Councillor Wayneflete and see so many excellent ideas! Unfortunately the winning entry was not from TESV, but I'm sure you'll agree that the suggestion by Bill Sidebottom, Acting Assistant Director of Transportation and Settlement, was brilliant and captured the values of this vibrant and exciting organisation. So I'm sure you were thrillled when it came up on your screens when you turned on your computers: Passionate, Innovative, Strategic, Sensitive, Organised, Factually Founded!
Nothing could better express the Transformation Agenda.
Now our next exciting step change transformation journey is to choose a similar message for our directorate! Suggestions to Kelly Pattrick in my office please, by the end of the month. Let's do better than the other lots and get our essential message, direction and culture into just four words. If teams want to hold brainstorming sessions to come up with ideas, just contact Neil Balderson to gain approval for booking accomodation.
Looking forward to all the wonderful ideas!
Kenneth
FROM: DALE BRASHCON, TRANSFORMATIONAL EXCELLENCE CHAMPION
TO: ALL TESV
Hello campers! As you all know, Kenneth is out in North Korea putting the exciting final touches to the Lord Pond Leadership Values and Benefits Awards Scheme. When he comes back, of course, he'll be full of ideas from his learning experiences, but in the meantime, he's asked me to put a little extra fizz into our Directorate branding brainstorming. We've actually had only three suggestions for the four words and one of those had only two words in it. I'm absolutely sure everyone at this exciting, transformational time is bubbling over with ideas about our excellence journey, so JUST STICK THEM IN AN E-MAIL AND SEND THEM TO KELLY OR ME!! Come on, don't be shy!!
Dale
TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday, 24 June 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles - The Away Day (6)
Neil Balderson, with a grave visage, opened the envelope and read out the group's task:
"RE-IMAGING THE BANK OF EAST SESSEX
You are officers of East Sessex County Council, which 22 months ago responded to a worsening economic landscape in East Sessex as a result of the international downturn by offering help to local businesses through the innovative creation of a Bank of East Sessex. The Bank was scoped to deliver user-friendly loans to SMEs which were unable to access traditional sources of finance due to an adverse lending environment. It was managed through an arms-length instrument and seedcorned with £3.6 million from East Sessex County Council reserves, though it was envisaged that 50% plus of the funding would come from private enterprise including the county's trading partners in North Korea.
Performance of the Bank failed to correspond to the envisaged parameters. Private sector support was disappointing and promised funds from North Korea were repeatedly delayed, reportedly due to piratical activity off Somalia. The twelve-month review revealed that loans had been made to only four entrepreneurs, one of whom absconded, one became insolvent six weeks after receiving the loan and one of which, whose business plan concerned the creation of an Anglo-North Korean cultural and security community, had reported no activity. The fourth, which was coincidentally headed by the Leader of the Council's godson, had successfully achieved take-off. This business involved the offering of high-interest loans to persons unable to access traditional sources of finance. The money loaned was connected by a causal paper trail to the Bank of East Sessex.
Foyurteen months after its launch, ESCC announced it was withdrawing its support and the bank was wound up.
A new Leader of the Council is anxious to revive the scheme under another name and an officer scope and image group has been formed preparatory to the formation of a task and finish group. Your task is to scope an approach to the re-launch."
As Neil Balderson had read this, his face had begun to enter a rare phase many of the others had never seen. He looked troubled. The slightest of signs in his reading voice pointed the same way. Reema and Gwilym were exchanging glances and shifting about restlessly.
"Well, that's an interesting one," Neil said.
"Yes - very interesting," Gwilym said enthusiastically.
"Judging by that fascinating brief, we're not allowed to say the whole idea is rubbish and we shouldn't touch it with a barge-pole," Henry offered.
"Henry - we're supposed to be positive. This is a blue-skies-thinking perspective and you're supposed to be an achieving go-getter, remember?" Neil replied. Henry subsided, muttering about blue skies and bloody thunderstorms. "O.K. - Facilitator, would you care to run an initial scoping exercise over the issues?" he continued. Gwilym gulped and read desperately - but not for long.
"The story we need to present is of an innovative innovation - I mean, initiative - with high points and low points. In aiming high for outstanding excellence through the re-badging and revival of the scheme, we should learn from the apparent low points and ensure that the high points are more aggressively communicated," he offered.
"So what are the high points?" Reema asked. There was an awkward silence.
"Surely the stategic analysis is correct - that small enterprises in Odanglesex need additional sources of funding?" Neil asked - and received some signs of assent.
"But it didn't work," Reema objected. Neil looked unhappy but it was Lucy who intervened.
"Reema, you're concentrating on the negative aspects. O.K., performance didn't reach expected levels, but there are a number of positives. For example, one successful business was launched using Bank of Odan... I mean, East Sessex funding."
"And that was a loan shark," Henry interjected. Neil shifted in his chair.
"Colleagues - it's very easy to pick holes in a high-risk innovative transformational initiative which ran into difficulties. But Lucy's right. We need to find and stress the positives." Until now Julie had been silent, but now she intervened:
"One: the failure rate of the enterprises funded was only 50%. One succeeded and one's still pending. Two: one loan itself created more liquidity through a multiplier effect. Three: any future bank of East Sessex will be able to draw on the expertise accumulated. Four: if the two failures hadn't been funded by this bank, they might have got funded by someone else who would have lost money. Five: don't I recall the scheme being praised by the Prime Minister?" Neil had perked up and took the opportunity to remind the others that they needed to present something new, not merely justify the original plan.
"So what will be new?" he concluded.
"Have economic conditions changed?" Gwilym queried. Reema replied that the latest survey of Odanglesex businesses showed 68% found getting loans difficult compared to 77% last year and 74% the year before.
"Good - so the situation has eased. That makes success for new enterprises more likely," Lucy concluded.
"Banks aren't very popular right now," Gwilym said.
"Fair point. So we don't call it a bank. What about a co-operative community lending vehicle?" Julie suggested.
"What about the North Korean business?" Reema asked. "Is it a no-no or could it be revived?"
"Brilliant! We could contribute an Odanglesex element to the international anti-piracy force in the Indian Ocean!" Gwilym suggested. "Then perhaps the North Korean funds would come through." Julie seemed uncertain about this, perhaps wondering if this would end as a request to Odanglesex Police, but Lucy was supportive and Neil downright enthusiastic. Gwilym's expression suggested he had meant it as a joke. Turning from trying to convey silent messages to the disapproving Reema and Henry, he found himself making eye contact with a familiar face. Kenneth Spotlessnob had arrived and was standing by their table listening.
It would soon be time for the groups to report in plenary session.
"RE-IMAGING THE BANK OF EAST SESSEX
You are officers of East Sessex County Council, which 22 months ago responded to a worsening economic landscape in East Sessex as a result of the international downturn by offering help to local businesses through the innovative creation of a Bank of East Sessex. The Bank was scoped to deliver user-friendly loans to SMEs which were unable to access traditional sources of finance due to an adverse lending environment. It was managed through an arms-length instrument and seedcorned with £3.6 million from East Sessex County Council reserves, though it was envisaged that 50% plus of the funding would come from private enterprise including the county's trading partners in North Korea.
Performance of the Bank failed to correspond to the envisaged parameters. Private sector support was disappointing and promised funds from North Korea were repeatedly delayed, reportedly due to piratical activity off Somalia. The twelve-month review revealed that loans had been made to only four entrepreneurs, one of whom absconded, one became insolvent six weeks after receiving the loan and one of which, whose business plan concerned the creation of an Anglo-North Korean cultural and security community, had reported no activity. The fourth, which was coincidentally headed by the Leader of the Council's godson, had successfully achieved take-off. This business involved the offering of high-interest loans to persons unable to access traditional sources of finance. The money loaned was connected by a causal paper trail to the Bank of East Sessex.
Foyurteen months after its launch, ESCC announced it was withdrawing its support and the bank was wound up.
A new Leader of the Council is anxious to revive the scheme under another name and an officer scope and image group has been formed preparatory to the formation of a task and finish group. Your task is to scope an approach to the re-launch."
As Neil Balderson had read this, his face had begun to enter a rare phase many of the others had never seen. He looked troubled. The slightest of signs in his reading voice pointed the same way. Reema and Gwilym were exchanging glances and shifting about restlessly.
"Well, that's an interesting one," Neil said.
"Yes - very interesting," Gwilym said enthusiastically.
"Judging by that fascinating brief, we're not allowed to say the whole idea is rubbish and we shouldn't touch it with a barge-pole," Henry offered.
"Henry - we're supposed to be positive. This is a blue-skies-thinking perspective and you're supposed to be an achieving go-getter, remember?" Neil replied. Henry subsided, muttering about blue skies and bloody thunderstorms. "O.K. - Facilitator, would you care to run an initial scoping exercise over the issues?" he continued. Gwilym gulped and read desperately - but not for long.
"The story we need to present is of an innovative innovation - I mean, initiative - with high points and low points. In aiming high for outstanding excellence through the re-badging and revival of the scheme, we should learn from the apparent low points and ensure that the high points are more aggressively communicated," he offered.
"So what are the high points?" Reema asked. There was an awkward silence.
"Surely the stategic analysis is correct - that small enterprises in Odanglesex need additional sources of funding?" Neil asked - and received some signs of assent.
"But it didn't work," Reema objected. Neil looked unhappy but it was Lucy who intervened.
"Reema, you're concentrating on the negative aspects. O.K., performance didn't reach expected levels, but there are a number of positives. For example, one successful business was launched using Bank of Odan... I mean, East Sessex funding."
"And that was a loan shark," Henry interjected. Neil shifted in his chair.
"Colleagues - it's very easy to pick holes in a high-risk innovative transformational initiative which ran into difficulties. But Lucy's right. We need to find and stress the positives." Until now Julie had been silent, but now she intervened:
"One: the failure rate of the enterprises funded was only 50%. One succeeded and one's still pending. Two: one loan itself created more liquidity through a multiplier effect. Three: any future bank of East Sessex will be able to draw on the expertise accumulated. Four: if the two failures hadn't been funded by this bank, they might have got funded by someone else who would have lost money. Five: don't I recall the scheme being praised by the Prime Minister?" Neil had perked up and took the opportunity to remind the others that they needed to present something new, not merely justify the original plan.
"So what will be new?" he concluded.
"Have economic conditions changed?" Gwilym queried. Reema replied that the latest survey of Odanglesex businesses showed 68% found getting loans difficult compared to 77% last year and 74% the year before.
"Good - so the situation has eased. That makes success for new enterprises more likely," Lucy concluded.
"Banks aren't very popular right now," Gwilym said.
"Fair point. So we don't call it a bank. What about a co-operative community lending vehicle?" Julie suggested.
"What about the North Korean business?" Reema asked. "Is it a no-no or could it be revived?"
"Brilliant! We could contribute an Odanglesex element to the international anti-piracy force in the Indian Ocean!" Gwilym suggested. "Then perhaps the North Korean funds would come through." Julie seemed uncertain about this, perhaps wondering if this would end as a request to Odanglesex Police, but Lucy was supportive and Neil downright enthusiastic. Gwilym's expression suggested he had meant it as a joke. Turning from trying to convey silent messages to the disapproving Reema and Henry, he found himself making eye contact with a familiar face. Kenneth Spotlessnob had arrived and was standing by their table listening.
It would soon be time for the groups to report in plenary session.
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Away Day (2)
Before I take you to Odanglesex County Council, let me apologise to visitors to the site who will have found nothing new for two weeks. I was on holiday, walking the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path, and coming back with a tan (if you didn't know I'm basically white, you do now), memories of beautiful cliff scenery and a lot of quite spectacular bosses and ridges of hard skin on my toes.
Because it's over two weeks since I posted Part 1 of The Away Day, here's a recap. The Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision in Odanglesex County Council, Kenneth Spotlessnob, has decided his extensive empire should have an away-day to think out of the box, engage in blue-sky thinking, reconnect with strategic priorities, network and chase one another through a muddy assault course. He is himself too busy with important things to arrive at the start of the event, but for everyone else, it's a whole day thing. Most of the organisation is being handled by a senior underling, Dale Brashcon, and Kenneth's PA, Kelly Pattrick, and the publicity is with Dale.
Usually I record great events at OCC by reproducing a series of e-mails, but this will not work for the Away Day itself, so I'm fictionalising it as a story.
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As Transformational Excellence Officer Reema Narlikar parked her ageing Saab and decanted colleague and friend Scott Fitzwilliam (whose souped-up Mini had fallen ill again) into the car park of the William Wayneflete Outdoor Activity Centre, she was a little concerned to see how full the car-park was. OK she'd taken one wrong turning (well, two, but the second had been a farm track soon reversed out of), but they did still have thirteen minutes before the start, didn't they? It was "arrive by 9:00", wasn't it? A wave from her immediate boss Hamish Carpenter, his unruly head and beard hair briefly ruly, reassured her. He seemed to be getting a lift from his daughter, unless there was something the rumour machine hadn't registered.
The three colleagues walked together to the obvious entrance under the big sign (ODANGLESEX COUNTY COUNCIL
WILLIAM WAYNEFLETE OUTDOOR ACTIVITY CENTRE
and a green smiley sea-monster). With old-fashioned courtesy, Hamish waved Reema ahead. She strode to the door and tried the handle. The door was locked.
"Yeah, it really is locked. The bell doesn't seem to work and I've hammered on it!" said a familiar voice from a distance. The figure sitting on a low wall was lean, lithe and bespectacled. "I'm just waiting for Kelly to arrive, or someone with the key. We've definitely got the day right," Mike Finnegan added.
"I'll see if I can spot anything through a window," Hamish said. He did indeed spot something - a group of old ladies who either weren't OCC employees or internal communication was even worse than he thought - and as he stared at them, one of them saw him and screamed - but then he came on a side entrance. The door was open.
"First test passed," said Kelly Pattrick, making an entry on a form. "Thinking out of the box - spatial awareness - initiative - working with multiple options. Fail on leadership because you haven't brought anyone with you. Come in. Tea and coffee through there, coats and bags there, toilets there, interfaith or philosophy quiet room there. Hello, Reema."
Familiar faces were looking serious over coffee. The Directorate was beginning to gather, but clearly most had not yet arrived, or at least found the entrance, and not all the parked cars were theirs. Dale Brashcon, in charge, buzzed around those present like an inflated, untied balloon just let free.
Scott, alerted by the strange affair of the locked door, looked around for anything they should be doing and spotted some sides of flipchart paper pinned to the wall with a roughly-drawn grid on each and a series of odd words. Three sets of initials had been entered on the grids, but there was no indication of what the words meant. Reema joined him. He raised his eyebrows. She wrinkled her nose. Language was unnecessary.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Because it's over two weeks since I posted Part 1 of The Away Day, here's a recap. The Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision in Odanglesex County Council, Kenneth Spotlessnob, has decided his extensive empire should have an away-day to think out of the box, engage in blue-sky thinking, reconnect with strategic priorities, network and chase one another through a muddy assault course. He is himself too busy with important things to arrive at the start of the event, but for everyone else, it's a whole day thing. Most of the organisation is being handled by a senior underling, Dale Brashcon, and Kenneth's PA, Kelly Pattrick, and the publicity is with Dale.
Usually I record great events at OCC by reproducing a series of e-mails, but this will not work for the Away Day itself, so I'm fictionalising it as a story.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
As Transformational Excellence Officer Reema Narlikar parked her ageing Saab and decanted colleague and friend Scott Fitzwilliam (whose souped-up Mini had fallen ill again) into the car park of the William Wayneflete Outdoor Activity Centre, she was a little concerned to see how full the car-park was. OK she'd taken one wrong turning (well, two, but the second had been a farm track soon reversed out of), but they did still have thirteen minutes before the start, didn't they? It was "arrive by 9:00", wasn't it? A wave from her immediate boss Hamish Carpenter, his unruly head and beard hair briefly ruly, reassured her. He seemed to be getting a lift from his daughter, unless there was something the rumour machine hadn't registered.
The three colleagues walked together to the obvious entrance under the big sign (ODANGLESEX COUNTY COUNCIL
WILLIAM WAYNEFLETE OUTDOOR ACTIVITY CENTRE
and a green smiley sea-monster). With old-fashioned courtesy, Hamish waved Reema ahead. She strode to the door and tried the handle. The door was locked.
"Yeah, it really is locked. The bell doesn't seem to work and I've hammered on it!" said a familiar voice from a distance. The figure sitting on a low wall was lean, lithe and bespectacled. "I'm just waiting for Kelly to arrive, or someone with the key. We've definitely got the day right," Mike Finnegan added.
"I'll see if I can spot anything through a window," Hamish said. He did indeed spot something - a group of old ladies who either weren't OCC employees or internal communication was even worse than he thought - and as he stared at them, one of them saw him and screamed - but then he came on a side entrance. The door was open.
"First test passed," said Kelly Pattrick, making an entry on a form. "Thinking out of the box - spatial awareness - initiative - working with multiple options. Fail on leadership because you haven't brought anyone with you. Come in. Tea and coffee through there, coats and bags there, toilets there, interfaith or philosophy quiet room there. Hello, Reema."
Familiar faces were looking serious over coffee. The Directorate was beginning to gather, but clearly most had not yet arrived, or at least found the entrance, and not all the parked cars were theirs. Dale Brashcon, in charge, buzzed around those present like an inflated, untied balloon just let free.
Scott, alerted by the strange affair of the locked door, looked around for anything they should be doing and spotted some sides of flipchart paper pinned to the wall with a roughly-drawn grid on each and a series of odd words. Three sets of initials had been entered on the grids, but there was no indication of what the words meant. Reema joined him. He raised his eyebrows. She wrinkled her nose. Language was unnecessary.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Friday, 11 May 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Away Day
FROM: Dale Brashcon,Strategic Deputy Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Hi! Good news! On the 24th we're all getting together for the most marvellous experience which I'm sure everyone will find fun as well as really helpful in doing our jobs better. You had the date already, but please note that because of the flood of ideas for what should happen and consultants' advice on the optimum time space for such events, it's now a full-day event instead of just in the morning. We're all meeting at the West Odanglesex Childhood Experience Centre at Much Yelling near Oakhead - nine a.m. prompt, please.
Bring outdoor clothing, but that doesn't mean hard hats! We've been able to meld a number of your brilliant suggestions about the day into the programme, which will be with you shortly. Basically the morning will consist of a number of interactive and participative activities indoors, while the afternoon will be outdoors in the Adventure Centre.
If you have any difficulties with the date or programme on medical or compassionate grounds please let Kelly Pattrick know soonest. Otherwise I'll see you there!
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
Scottie: Just got Dale's gush about the (squirm) away-day. Horrible thought: maybe the Great Leader and he have taken seriously that anonymous suggestion I posted about being chased naked by a wild boar through bramble thickets? Could they take that seriously? They could.
FROM: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale: Kenneth will be arriving at The Experience Centre at about 10:30. He's really looking forward to the day.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Edwin McEvoy, Head of Local Projects, HM Treasury
Edwin: Sorry, but I've got to reschedule that meeting we had at 3 on 24th. I'm now required to be at an all-day Away Day. It was only the morning. There's a three-line whip.
TO: All Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Hi! Good news! On the 24th we're all getting together for the most marvellous experience which I'm sure everyone will find fun as well as really helpful in doing our jobs better. You had the date already, but please note that because of the flood of ideas for what should happen and consultants' advice on the optimum time space for such events, it's now a full-day event instead of just in the morning. We're all meeting at the West Odanglesex Childhood Experience Centre at Much Yelling near Oakhead - nine a.m. prompt, please.
Bring outdoor clothing, but that doesn't mean hard hats! We've been able to meld a number of your brilliant suggestions about the day into the programme, which will be with you shortly. Basically the morning will consist of a number of interactive and participative activities indoors, while the afternoon will be outdoors in the Adventure Centre.
If you have any difficulties with the date or programme on medical or compassionate grounds please let Kelly Pattrick know soonest. Otherwise I'll see you there!
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
Scottie: Just got Dale's gush about the (squirm) away-day. Horrible thought: maybe the Great Leader and he have taken seriously that anonymous suggestion I posted about being chased naked by a wild boar through bramble thickets? Could they take that seriously? They could.
FROM: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Dale Brashcon
Dale: Kenneth will be arriving at The Experience Centre at about 10:30. He's really looking forward to the day.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Edwin McEvoy, Head of Local Projects, HM Treasury
Edwin: Sorry, but I've got to reschedule that meeting we had at 3 on 24th. I'm now required to be at an all-day Away Day. It was only the morning. There's a three-line whip.
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles - The Beasts of the Jungle (2)
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: Anton Wilks, Director of Content
Simeon Lascelles, Director of Spatial Exploration and Direction Management
Hilda Wrass, Director of Cultural Transformation
bcc: Neil Balderson, Assistant Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Colleagues:
Thanks for making the really positive meeting where Anton explained how he saw content management developing under his tutelage. I hope Anton won't mind me saying the rest of us found it really fascinating and are excited by the challenges of working together in a totally transformational way.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Neil Balderson
cc: Dale Brashcon, Deputy Assistant Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Neil: Thanks for your invaluable comments on the position we should take concerning ownership of content in TESV and how we can make sure Anton's efforts are directed into positive and forward-looking channels.
FROM: Anton Wilks, Director of Content
TO: Hilda Wrass, Director of Cultural Transformation
Hilda: thanks for sending me the draft text of the OCC Christmas Pageant. I don't really have any comment on it and didn't expect my directorate to intervene in content management at this level.
FROM: Anton Wilks
TO: Simeon Lascelles
Simeon:
Thanks for the draft of your directorate five-year plan. What exactly is spatial exploration?
FROM: Anton Wilks
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob
Kenneth: I thought we'd agreed a structure for joint working when we met with Hilda and Simeon, but I'm finding my directorate bombarded with requests for approval of things like a response to a government consultation on community waste management and even an internal e-mail about the Chairman's charity (the Richard Plantagenet Ill Horse Home). Can we meet again to sort this out?
FROM: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Anton Wilks
Kenneth's identified three dates when he could meet you as you requested. He asked me to apologise that they're all nearly three months ahead, but his diary is very full.
FROM: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
TO: Anton Wilks
CONFIDENTIAL
Anton - just a word in your ear. You're operating in a different culture and it's not entirely wise to suggest that the Chairman's charity, government policy on community waste disposal or Christmas are unimportant. Just a matter of presentation.
FROM: Edelbertha Spengler
TO: All Directors
FOR CASCADE
In order to move ever faster towards our aim of permanent transformational excellence, I've decided a rejig of cross-cutting responsibilities is needed to streamline delivery. The major cross-cutting responsibilities of Content are now to come under Hilda Wrass and the Directorate of Content will be phased out between now and August.
This means, unfortunately, we are bidding goodbye to Anton Wilks and I would like to thank him for all the valuable work he's done with us over the past six months.
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Reorganisation (2)
ED'D JOB: THE BLOG OF CHIEF EXECUTIVE EDELBERTHA SPENGLER (draft)
Hi!
You know the feeling when some much-loved member of the team returns from a very special holiday - you all cluster around looking at her photos and admiring her tan.
Well, I've just come back from Egypt, eager to get back in harness and work with all the wonderful people in OCC again. I couldn't wait. Of course, I was very happy that Kenneth would be an inspired leader while I was away, but I do enjoy being Chief Executive here.
Anyway, in Egypt they have pyramids. You're not allowed to climb up them, but you can see that for some of them it would be a very long way and even quite dangerous because of the slope as you might slip. My other half tells me that in Central America they have stepped pyramids, which must be much easier to climb up.
We have pyramids here in Odanglesex too, though we don't get many tourists coming to see them. Our pyramids are organisational ones. Councillor Waynflete and I are at the top (blush) and I don't really like the idea that I'm standing on Kenneth Spotlesshead's nob but that's how it works, right down to the lowest levels, but of course, unlike with the Egyptian pyramids, the bits of rock at the bottom can make their way right up to the top or nearly.
The Egyptians and the Mayas made their pyramids very high to impress people. In Odanglesex we don't want to impress people. We want to give them a positive customer experience. If the pyramid's very high and steep, it's a long way to the top and there are lots of people monitoring or approving everything and as you move up each level they get paid more. We want a flatter pyramid. That's why we're going through a series of reorganisations, starting with a pilot in Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision. There will be a bit of disruption, but at the end we'll have a flatter, more accessible, more customer-friendly pyramid.
Now here are some of my holiday photos...
FROM: Dorothea Biggs, PA to Chief Executive
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
Ed: I've made three changes if that's OK.
I've deleted the bit about admiring her tan. This is ethnically sensitive. Would "muscles" do instead?
I assume you meant to say you were standing on Kenneth Spotlessnob's head, not the other way around, though I wonder if you want to reconsider the phrase. I mean, your feet are quite big and his head is quite small. It just seems funny to me and not very safe.
I've taken out one of the holiday snaps because of what the fat man was doing in the background.
FROM: Councillor Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
Ed: just read your blog. Fascinating as always. Why don't we have more tourists coming to see the pyramids in Odanglesex? Could I have a project plan draft to address this?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: Neil Balderson, Acting Assistant Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Neil: In reply to your query left on my answerphone - yes, your interpretation is correct. A flatter pyramid in TESV will be achieved through two transformational changes:
1: The seven DC2s will be assimilated to DC3. The alternative of assimilating to DC1 would be unviable because of the relational implications of the pay reduction involved.
2: The minimum number of employees managed to entitle a manager to line manager status will be increased from three to thirteen.
FROM: Silesia Jones, Equality Consultant
TO: Neil Balderson
Neil:
Is this for real? As an efficiency measure, I can no longer approve mileage claims or leave or carry out annual appraisal on the three colleagues I manage, despite Equality Excellence being a discrete unit, but must pass all these things to Neil Downing, who has no experience of them?
FROM: Neil Balderson
TO: Silesia Jones
Silesia:
Correct. This helps achieve a flatter organisational pyramid and less bureaucracy.
Concerning the three colleagues and indeed the Equality function: haven't you read page 111 of Kenneth's presentation?
FROM: Stanley Livingstone, President Emeritus, National Association of Micro Businesses, Odanglesex and Sarfebutt Branch
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
My dear Mrs Spengler:
Is it correct what I read in the newspapers, that seven of your extravagantly paid jobsworths have received an entirely unearned pay rise by being "assimilated" to a higher level?
Can they instead be taken out and shot?
FROM: Edelbertha Spengler
TO: Stanley Livingstone
Dear Mr Livingstone,
Thank you for your most helpful letter. I can confirm that the organisational change you refer to is being implemented as part of a package of measures to reduce expenditure and improve the customer experience.
I am grateful for your helpful suggestion, but unfortunately it would be ultra vires.
Hi!
You know the feeling when some much-loved member of the team returns from a very special holiday - you all cluster around looking at her photos and admiring her tan.
Well, I've just come back from Egypt, eager to get back in harness and work with all the wonderful people in OCC again. I couldn't wait. Of course, I was very happy that Kenneth would be an inspired leader while I was away, but I do enjoy being Chief Executive here.
Anyway, in Egypt they have pyramids. You're not allowed to climb up them, but you can see that for some of them it would be a very long way and even quite dangerous because of the slope as you might slip. My other half tells me that in Central America they have stepped pyramids, which must be much easier to climb up.
We have pyramids here in Odanglesex too, though we don't get many tourists coming to see them. Our pyramids are organisational ones. Councillor Waynflete and I are at the top (blush) and I don't really like the idea that I'm standing on Kenneth Spotlesshead's nob but that's how it works, right down to the lowest levels, but of course, unlike with the Egyptian pyramids, the bits of rock at the bottom can make their way right up to the top or nearly.
The Egyptians and the Mayas made their pyramids very high to impress people. In Odanglesex we don't want to impress people. We want to give them a positive customer experience. If the pyramid's very high and steep, it's a long way to the top and there are lots of people monitoring or approving everything and as you move up each level they get paid more. We want a flatter pyramid. That's why we're going through a series of reorganisations, starting with a pilot in Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision. There will be a bit of disruption, but at the end we'll have a flatter, more accessible, more customer-friendly pyramid.
Now here are some of my holiday photos...
FROM: Dorothea Biggs, PA to Chief Executive
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
Ed: I've made three changes if that's OK.
I've deleted the bit about admiring her tan. This is ethnically sensitive. Would "muscles" do instead?
I assume you meant to say you were standing on Kenneth Spotlessnob's head, not the other way around, though I wonder if you want to reconsider the phrase. I mean, your feet are quite big and his head is quite small. It just seems funny to me and not very safe.
I've taken out one of the holiday snaps because of what the fat man was doing in the background.
FROM: Councillor Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
Ed: just read your blog. Fascinating as always. Why don't we have more tourists coming to see the pyramids in Odanglesex? Could I have a project plan draft to address this?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: Neil Balderson, Acting Assistant Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Neil: In reply to your query left on my answerphone - yes, your interpretation is correct. A flatter pyramid in TESV will be achieved through two transformational changes:
1: The seven DC2s will be assimilated to DC3. The alternative of assimilating to DC1 would be unviable because of the relational implications of the pay reduction involved.
2: The minimum number of employees managed to entitle a manager to line manager status will be increased from three to thirteen.
FROM: Silesia Jones, Equality Consultant
TO: Neil Balderson
Neil:
Is this for real? As an efficiency measure, I can no longer approve mileage claims or leave or carry out annual appraisal on the three colleagues I manage, despite Equality Excellence being a discrete unit, but must pass all these things to Neil Downing, who has no experience of them?
FROM: Neil Balderson
TO: Silesia Jones
Silesia:
Correct. This helps achieve a flatter organisational pyramid and less bureaucracy.
Concerning the three colleagues and indeed the Equality function: haven't you read page 111 of Kenneth's presentation?
FROM: Stanley Livingstone, President Emeritus, National Association of Micro Businesses, Odanglesex and Sarfebutt Branch
TO: Edelbertha Spengler
My dear Mrs Spengler:
Is it correct what I read in the newspapers, that seven of your extravagantly paid jobsworths have received an entirely unearned pay rise by being "assimilated" to a higher level?
Can they instead be taken out and shot?
FROM: Edelbertha Spengler
TO: Stanley Livingstone
Dear Mr Livingstone,
Thank you for your most helpful letter. I can confirm that the organisational change you refer to is being implemented as part of a package of measures to reduce expenditure and improve the customer experience.
I am grateful for your helpful suggestion, but unfortunately it would be ultra vires.
Friday, 30 March 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Reorganisation (1)
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
TO: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
Kelly:
I've taken a brief time out from the Future Outstanding Leaders' Strategic Visioning Brainstorm Event here at Sandbanks to put the finishing touches on my presentation to all TESV employees on the Strategic Realignment Reorganisation in TESV. Could you run your practiced eye over it for any gaps, mistakes or whatever? I've also indicated a number of places where I need a visual on the powerpoint and perhaps you can execute those.
WELL, HELLO!
I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ALL ARE, SO I'M REALLY GRATEFUL TO YOU ALL FOR TAKING TIME TO ATTEND THIS PRESENTATION ON WHERE TESV IS GOING, NOT ONLY IN THE NEAR FUTURE BUT THE MEDIUM AND EVEN, IN CERTAIN RESPECTS, THE LONG.
(first picture: a blue sky)
I'M SURE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THAT IN ORDER TO REMAIN EXCELLENT, WE NEED TO CHANGE - NOT JUST CHANGE, BUT CHANGE TRANSFORMATIONALLY. IN TIMES LIKE THIS, THE NEED FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE IS PARAMOUNT, AND IF THERE IS ONE MESSAGE THAT COMES LOUD AND CLEAR FROM OUR MAGNIFICENT EFFORTS ON STATIONERY BEST PRACTICE TRANSFORMATION, IT IS THAT CHANGE MUST BE TRANSFORMATIONAL.
WE ALREADY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB, BUT THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. WE NEED TO BE AN EXEMPLAR. IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THAT, WE REALLY MUST NOT ONLY CHANGE THE WAY WE DO THINGS, BUT ALSO THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT DOING THINGS.
(second picture: footballer scoring goal)
ONLY EXCELLENCE WILL ACHIEVE OUR GOALS. I'VE BEEN THINKING BACK OVER THE FOUR YEARS SINCE I BECAME DIRECTOR OF WHAT WAS THEN POLICY AND PARTNERSHIPS. THE CHANGE OF NAME ALONE SHOWS HOW FAR WE'VE COME. WE HAD A CLEAR MISSION THEN. BUT UNDERSTANDABLY, IT'S GOT SOMEWHAT MUDDIED BY CIRCUMSTANCES, BY INCREMENTAL SMALL CHANGES THAT SEEMED SENSIBLE AT THE TIME, AND NOW WE NEED TO CLEAR THE DECKS, AS IT WERE, AND, AS IT WERE, REDEDICATE OURSELVES TO OUR OVERARCHING STRATEGIC VISION. THIS IS WHAT TESV MUST BE LIKE IF WE ARE TO MAINTAIN AND ENHANCE THE EXCELLENCE OF OUR SERVICE TO OCC:
(third picture: Core Values of TESV as reflected by the reorganisation, namely:
* A lean, muscular organisation
* A fit-for-purpose organisation for the twenty-first century
* Customer responsiveness
* A challenging vision
* Flexibility and manoeverability
* Team spirit
* Goal-orientedness
* A positive attitude
* A transformational mindset.
I propose to reorganise Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision around three core functions, CHALLENGE CULTURE ENHANCEMENT, CUSTOMER ORIENTATION and GOAL IMPLEMENTATION. I expect most of you have a pretty good idea of how you'd fit into those.
In order to achieve this vision there will be changes which will be quite difficult for us all and even in some cases painful. Believe me, it will hurt me more than it will hurt you. If you look at page 123 of your pack, you will see that there will be a number of redundancies. The process for achieving these redundancies and for slotting people into new positions is explained on pages 125-172.
KELLY - HAVE TO LEAVE IT THERE FOR NOW. LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS.
Kenneth.
FROM: Kelly Pattrick
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob
Kenneth:
I've put in the graphics and changed "manoeverability" to manoevrability".
Kelly.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All TESV
Colleagues:
I expect you know that I've been mulling over changes to TESV to make us more fit for purpose for some time. I'm pleased to say I now have something to show you. Therefore please come to one of the two sessions listed below. There will be HR people present to answer any questions, and also. I'm really pleased to say, a voluntary sector presence from three outstanding organisations, Alcoholics Anonymous, Dignity in Death and the Samaritans.
Looking forward to seeing you all!
Kenneth
(to be continued, of course)
TO: Kelly Pattrick, PA to Kenneth Spotlessnob
Kelly:
I've taken a brief time out from the Future Outstanding Leaders' Strategic Visioning Brainstorm Event here at Sandbanks to put the finishing touches on my presentation to all TESV employees on the Strategic Realignment Reorganisation in TESV. Could you run your practiced eye over it for any gaps, mistakes or whatever? I've also indicated a number of places where I need a visual on the powerpoint and perhaps you can execute those.
WELL, HELLO!
I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ALL ARE, SO I'M REALLY GRATEFUL TO YOU ALL FOR TAKING TIME TO ATTEND THIS PRESENTATION ON WHERE TESV IS GOING, NOT ONLY IN THE NEAR FUTURE BUT THE MEDIUM AND EVEN, IN CERTAIN RESPECTS, THE LONG.
(first picture: a blue sky)
I'M SURE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THAT IN ORDER TO REMAIN EXCELLENT, WE NEED TO CHANGE - NOT JUST CHANGE, BUT CHANGE TRANSFORMATIONALLY. IN TIMES LIKE THIS, THE NEED FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE IS PARAMOUNT, AND IF THERE IS ONE MESSAGE THAT COMES LOUD AND CLEAR FROM OUR MAGNIFICENT EFFORTS ON STATIONERY BEST PRACTICE TRANSFORMATION, IT IS THAT CHANGE MUST BE TRANSFORMATIONAL.
WE ALREADY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB, BUT THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. WE NEED TO BE AN EXEMPLAR. IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THAT, WE REALLY MUST NOT ONLY CHANGE THE WAY WE DO THINGS, BUT ALSO THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT DOING THINGS.
(second picture: footballer scoring goal)
ONLY EXCELLENCE WILL ACHIEVE OUR GOALS. I'VE BEEN THINKING BACK OVER THE FOUR YEARS SINCE I BECAME DIRECTOR OF WHAT WAS THEN POLICY AND PARTNERSHIPS. THE CHANGE OF NAME ALONE SHOWS HOW FAR WE'VE COME. WE HAD A CLEAR MISSION THEN. BUT UNDERSTANDABLY, IT'S GOT SOMEWHAT MUDDIED BY CIRCUMSTANCES, BY INCREMENTAL SMALL CHANGES THAT SEEMED SENSIBLE AT THE TIME, AND NOW WE NEED TO CLEAR THE DECKS, AS IT WERE, AND, AS IT WERE, REDEDICATE OURSELVES TO OUR OVERARCHING STRATEGIC VISION. THIS IS WHAT TESV MUST BE LIKE IF WE ARE TO MAINTAIN AND ENHANCE THE EXCELLENCE OF OUR SERVICE TO OCC:
(third picture: Core Values of TESV as reflected by the reorganisation, namely:
* A lean, muscular organisation
* A fit-for-purpose organisation for the twenty-first century
* Customer responsiveness
* A challenging vision
* Flexibility and manoeverability
* Team spirit
* Goal-orientedness
* A positive attitude
* A transformational mindset.
I propose to reorganise Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision around three core functions, CHALLENGE CULTURE ENHANCEMENT, CUSTOMER ORIENTATION and GOAL IMPLEMENTATION. I expect most of you have a pretty good idea of how you'd fit into those.
In order to achieve this vision there will be changes which will be quite difficult for us all and even in some cases painful. Believe me, it will hurt me more than it will hurt you. If you look at page 123 of your pack, you will see that there will be a number of redundancies. The process for achieving these redundancies and for slotting people into new positions is explained on pages 125-172.
KELLY - HAVE TO LEAVE IT THERE FOR NOW. LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS.
Kenneth.
FROM: Kelly Pattrick
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob
Kenneth:
I've put in the graphics and changed "manoeverability" to manoevrability".
Kelly.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All TESV
Colleagues:
I expect you know that I've been mulling over changes to TESV to make us more fit for purpose for some time. I'm pleased to say I now have something to show you. Therefore please come to one of the two sessions listed below. There will be HR people present to answer any questions, and also. I'm really pleased to say, a voluntary sector presence from three outstanding organisations, Alcoholics Anonymous, Dignity in Death and the Samaritans.
Looking forward to seeing you all!
Kenneth
(to be continued, of course)
Monday, 27 February 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Agile Stationery Strategy (5)
FROM: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
The implementation of the Agile Stationery Strategy has been impressive and with 93% of ordering officers now trained by Piers, Gaveston, Edwards, the small teething problems over ordering should now be a thing of the past. However, the next quantum leap is to change the nature of our relationship with stationery. On our transformational journey towards the paperless office, OCC should have far less need of hard copy stationery.
Early indications are that our expenditure on stationery is some 62% above what an agile modern organisation of our size should need. Moreover, as some units have been complaining that they are unable to execute orders, overcoming these technical blips will mean expenditure on stationery orders strays further from the optimum. An admittedly impressionistic impression is that stationery reserves are still more extensive than we need, indicating some orders are unnecessary and that valuable space is being employed in a suboptimal fashion. Consequently consultants commissioned from A4Page will be visiting offices during the next five weeks to scope the size of stationery reserves in all directorates.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Yesterday Mike and Reema came into the office and found a man with a visitor badge apparently stealing stationery. They blocked his exit and called security who arrived and summoned the police. The police have now informed us the man worked for A4Page and was employed to check stationery reserves. I subsequently had a rather unpleasant call from Brett West saying I should have knowwn about this and we've undermined the partnership relationship with A4Page.
I dodn't know we had a relationship with them or that a stationery check was in process. Is that correct?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All transformational Excellencew and Strategic Vision
Colleagues:
I thought you should know about the spot checks described by Brett West in the attached memo. This is a milepost on our Agile Stationery Strategy journey.
FROM: Brett West
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
Following the checks carried out for us by A4Page, it has become clear that current stationery reserves in all Directorates and Enhanced Capability Units except Chief Executive's exceed levels set in the Agile Stationery Strategy by 29 - 104%. Ed has therefore agreed to place a stop on all stationery orders for the next six months except for Chief Executive's and Member Services.
to be continued and concluded...
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
The implementation of the Agile Stationery Strategy has been impressive and with 93% of ordering officers now trained by Piers, Gaveston, Edwards, the small teething problems over ordering should now be a thing of the past. However, the next quantum leap is to change the nature of our relationship with stationery. On our transformational journey towards the paperless office, OCC should have far less need of hard copy stationery.
Early indications are that our expenditure on stationery is some 62% above what an agile modern organisation of our size should need. Moreover, as some units have been complaining that they are unable to execute orders, overcoming these technical blips will mean expenditure on stationery orders strays further from the optimum. An admittedly impressionistic impression is that stationery reserves are still more extensive than we need, indicating some orders are unnecessary and that valuable space is being employed in a suboptimal fashion. Consequently consultants commissioned from A4Page will be visiting offices during the next five weeks to scope the size of stationery reserves in all directorates.
FROM: Hamish Carpenter, Senior Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
Kenneth:
Yesterday Mike and Reema came into the office and found a man with a visitor badge apparently stealing stationery. They blocked his exit and called security who arrived and summoned the police. The police have now informed us the man worked for A4Page and was employed to check stationery reserves. I subsequently had a rather unpleasant call from Brett West saying I should have knowwn about this and we've undermined the partnership relationship with A4Page.
I dodn't know we had a relationship with them or that a stationery check was in process. Is that correct?
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: All transformational Excellencew and Strategic Vision
Colleagues:
I thought you should know about the spot checks described by Brett West in the attached memo. This is a milepost on our Agile Stationery Strategy journey.
FROM: Brett West
TO: All Directors and Heads of Unit
Following the checks carried out for us by A4Page, it has become clear that current stationery reserves in all Directorates and Enhanced Capability Units except Chief Executive's exceed levels set in the Agile Stationery Strategy by 29 - 104%. Ed has therefore agreed to place a stop on all stationery orders for the next six months except for Chief Executive's and Member Services.
to be continued and concluded...
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Agile Stationery Strategy (3)
FROM: Rob Methuen, Business Transformation Consultant
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
Brett:
You asked me to report on progress towards the total enablement target for Supersmart engagement, and in particular its contribution to the Agile Stationery Strategy.
There's good news and bad news.
The good news is that one module of the enablement target has been hit. Since there are no admin officers left except those directly attached to Directors, 94.4% of Supersmart orders are now committed by the responsible officers, exceeding the target of 90% comfortably.
The bad news is that there have been a number of teething problems with officers not yet fully proficient in Supersmart. The "urban myth" you referred to, that a Head of Service had ordered 7,000 sandwiches instead of 7,000 hours of consultancy time, is sadly correct. It should, however, be noted that the sandwiches were considerably cheaper than the consultants. There have also been a number of complaints from officers who had not appreciated the need for security reasons to change their passwords every four days and are consequently being locked out and deleted. Senior officers are complaining that they are taking far longer to execute an order than the admin officers did, and Magog Jones has calculated that as he's paid five times more than the admin officer was and he's taking approximately three times as long to execute the order, the new system is fifteen times more expensive than the old.
This has led to a further distortion. As a minority of officers are in fact proficient in Supersmart, some units are indulging in financial sleight of hand so a competent officer can make orders for others, or are even giving that officer their passwords so he or she can impersonate them on the system.
One further issue was brought to my attention. I mention it here though it's not properly within my remit. Three officers who required small items were disappointed that the approved suppliers' prices on Supersmart exceeded the prices in WH Smith by up to 34%, and argued for discretion to buy.
FROM: Brett West
TO: Rob Methuen
cc: Goneril Hayes
Thanks, Rob. Teething problems are to be expected. Our procurement arrangements through Supersmart are devised to maximise value for money, so no departures can be permitted. It is disappointing that some officers do not appreciate the need for security. The perfomance on Supersmart of some senior officers is also disappointing. I will be speaking to Conor and Ed about whether this can be made a criterion within Advanced Performance Evaluation and also about addressing these shortcomings through training.
Where did the sandwiches go?
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
Colleagues:
In order to make the next step change towards implementation of our Agile Stationery Strategy and the concomitent Agile Services Strategy, Agile Premises Strategy and Agile Consultants Strategy, all officers on Supersmart are required to attend two-day Supersmart ordering training commencing 1 April. The training will start with the most senior officers below Director level and proceed downwards over the life of the programme.
The nomination form is attached. I stress that no exceptions will be allowed.
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
FROM MY BLACKBERRY
Scotty:
What's this rumour that Brett West was seen selling sandwiches in the covered market?
TO: Brett West, Head of Modernisation and Business Practice
cc: Goneril Hayes, Head of Information Management
Brett:
You asked me to report on progress towards the total enablement target for Supersmart engagement, and in particular its contribution to the Agile Stationery Strategy.
There's good news and bad news.
The good news is that one module of the enablement target has been hit. Since there are no admin officers left except those directly attached to Directors, 94.4% of Supersmart orders are now committed by the responsible officers, exceeding the target of 90% comfortably.
The bad news is that there have been a number of teething problems with officers not yet fully proficient in Supersmart. The "urban myth" you referred to, that a Head of Service had ordered 7,000 sandwiches instead of 7,000 hours of consultancy time, is sadly correct. It should, however, be noted that the sandwiches were considerably cheaper than the consultants. There have also been a number of complaints from officers who had not appreciated the need for security reasons to change their passwords every four days and are consequently being locked out and deleted. Senior officers are complaining that they are taking far longer to execute an order than the admin officers did, and Magog Jones has calculated that as he's paid five times more than the admin officer was and he's taking approximately three times as long to execute the order, the new system is fifteen times more expensive than the old.
This has led to a further distortion. As a minority of officers are in fact proficient in Supersmart, some units are indulging in financial sleight of hand so a competent officer can make orders for others, or are even giving that officer their passwords so he or she can impersonate them on the system.
One further issue was brought to my attention. I mention it here though it's not properly within my remit. Three officers who required small items were disappointed that the approved suppliers' prices on Supersmart exceeded the prices in WH Smith by up to 34%, and argued for discretion to buy.
FROM: Brett West
TO: Rob Methuen
cc: Goneril Hayes
Thanks, Rob. Teething problems are to be expected. Our procurement arrangements through Supersmart are devised to maximise value for money, so no departures can be permitted. It is disappointing that some officers do not appreciate the need for security. The perfomance on Supersmart of some senior officers is also disappointing. I will be speaking to Conor and Ed about whether this can be made a criterion within Advanced Performance Evaluation and also about addressing these shortcomings through training.
Where did the sandwiches go?
FROM: Conor O'Connor
TO: All Directors and Heads of Service
Colleagues:
In order to make the next step change towards implementation of our Agile Stationery Strategy and the concomitent Agile Services Strategy, Agile Premises Strategy and Agile Consultants Strategy, all officers on Supersmart are required to attend two-day Supersmart ordering training commencing 1 April. The training will start with the most senior officers below Director level and proceed downwards over the life of the programme.
The nomination form is attached. I stress that no exceptions will be allowed.
FROM: Reema Narlikar, Transformational Excellence Officer
TO: Scott Fitzwilliam, Transformational Excellence Officer
FROM MY BLACKBERRY
Scotty:
What's this rumour that Brett West was seen selling sandwiches in the covered market?
Sunday, 29 January 2012
The Odanglesex Chronicles: The Agile Workers (3)
FROM: Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
cc: Eustace Ojukwu, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
Kenneth: I attach the full report on TESV's piloting of an aspirational head:seat ratio within OCC's Agile Working Strategy. The summary report is as follows (please let me know if you'd like to raise any points before it goes to Ed and Cllr Wayneflete).
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.56. This demonstrates that the target is achievable across the Council. The achievement deserves congratulation.
However, the anticipated efficiency economies have not been achieved: in fact, only 9.6% of the anticipated saving has been achieved. While power costs are down thanks to officers working from home and relying on home power supplies, none of the extra space vacated has generated income. To put it bluntly, other organisations don't want to be housed in County Hall. One VCS chief executive said his customers finding the organisation at County Hall would be "a lingering death" and then corrected himself to "not necessarily lingering". Unfortunately this response is not untypical and all possible out-stations had already been closed, generating extra mileage expenses as officers had to travel to distant centres.
Other difficulties include feedback by Callboysandgirls Call Centre that there has been a 72% increase in phones not being answered and low use of home computers and mobile devices because of Council security requirements. In particular, conversion of devices is taking an average five weeks two days and employees are showing marked reluctance to delete their existing home internet security in favour of the MaxiPlus Platinum Plated Worldwide Security package.
Feedback from employees is mixed. Many enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity to work from home more, but in some cases have been frustrated by internet security issues. A significant minority find the lack of a personal space at work disorienting. There have also been some problems, which are being investigated, of disability access issues being unresolved.
It is too early to tell whether the changeover has led to increased efficiency in TESV.
Hilary Hannah
Eustace Ojukwu.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO; Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil: I'm not happy about this report. It needs some polishing before it goes to Ed and Bill Waynflete. Could you drop in asap for a brief discussion and then liaise with Hilary and Eustace?
FROM: Eustace Ojukwu
TO: Neil Balderson
Hi! Here's the revised version.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Here's the report from the HR consultants on our Agile Workers step change. The summary is as follows:
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.53. All employees are to be congratulated.
Savings of £539,000 pa can be projected if the savings pathway of the first months is projected till the year end. Energy costs are down and space within County Hall has been freed up. All working from home and in transit has been brought in line with Council security requirements and there have been no breeches.
A clear majority of TESV employees have welcomed the opportunity to become Agile and work more from home. A problem in a small number of cases of access difficulties to flexible working work stations has been addressed.
The transformation is on course to deliver greater efficiency and customer responsiveness.
Eustace Ojukwu
Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultants
FROM: Cllr Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO; Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Thanks for the report on Agile Working. I'd like to raise two points.
First, unless our employees are trouserless, it should be "breaches", not "breeches".
Second, how does this Agile Workers thing tally with us doubling the charge to use the gym?
Bill
TO: Kenneth Spotlessnob, Assistant Chief Executive and Director of Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision
cc: Eustace Ojukwu, Human Resources Excellence Consultant
Kenneth: I attach the full report on TESV's piloting of an aspirational head:seat ratio within OCC's Agile Working Strategy. The summary report is as follows (please let me know if you'd like to raise any points before it goes to Ed and Cllr Wayneflete).
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.56. This demonstrates that the target is achievable across the Council. The achievement deserves congratulation.
However, the anticipated efficiency economies have not been achieved: in fact, only 9.6% of the anticipated saving has been achieved. While power costs are down thanks to officers working from home and relying on home power supplies, none of the extra space vacated has generated income. To put it bluntly, other organisations don't want to be housed in County Hall. One VCS chief executive said his customers finding the organisation at County Hall would be "a lingering death" and then corrected himself to "not necessarily lingering". Unfortunately this response is not untypical and all possible out-stations had already been closed, generating extra mileage expenses as officers had to travel to distant centres.
Other difficulties include feedback by Callboysandgirls Call Centre that there has been a 72% increase in phones not being answered and low use of home computers and mobile devices because of Council security requirements. In particular, conversion of devices is taking an average five weeks two days and employees are showing marked reluctance to delete their existing home internet security in favour of the MaxiPlus Platinum Plated Worldwide Security package.
Feedback from employees is mixed. Many enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity to work from home more, but in some cases have been frustrated by internet security issues. A significant minority find the lack of a personal space at work disorienting. There have also been some problems, which are being investigated, of disability access issues being unresolved.
It is too early to tell whether the changeover has led to increased efficiency in TESV.
Hilary Hannah
Eustace Ojukwu.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO; Neil Balderson, Senior Transformational Excellence Manager
Neil: I'm not happy about this report. It needs some polishing before it goes to Ed and Bill Waynflete. Could you drop in asap for a brief discussion and then liaise with Hilary and Eustace?
FROM: Eustace Ojukwu
TO: Neil Balderson
Hi! Here's the revised version.
FROM: Kenneth Spotlessnob
TO: Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Here's the report from the HR consultants on our Agile Workers step change. The summary is as follows:
Transformational Excellence and Strategic Vision has achieved the aspirational target of 1 seat to 2.51 heads within a challenging timescale. The actual ratio at the time of writing is 1:2.53. All employees are to be congratulated.
Savings of £539,000 pa can be projected if the savings pathway of the first months is projected till the year end. Energy costs are down and space within County Hall has been freed up. All working from home and in transit has been brought in line with Council security requirements and there have been no breeches.
A clear majority of TESV employees have welcomed the opportunity to become Agile and work more from home. A problem in a small number of cases of access difficulties to flexible working work stations has been addressed.
The transformation is on course to deliver greater efficiency and customer responsiveness.
Eustace Ojukwu
Hilary Hannah, Human Resources Excellence Consultants
FROM: Cllr Bill Wayneflete, Leader of the Council
TO; Edelbertha Spengler, Chief Executive
Ed: Thanks for the report on Agile Working. I'd like to raise two points.
First, unless our employees are trouserless, it should be "breaches", not "breeches".
Second, how does this Agile Workers thing tally with us doubling the charge to use the gym?
Bill
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